If wishes were horses....

The Hills' Spencer Pratt Wants to Be the Next Brad Pitt

On a related note, I want to put everyone who irritates me on a rocket to the sun, which is also not going to happen.

Though Spedi would be on said rocket if it did...

Things that frighten me for $1000, Alex

At work, Mom has started putting my iPod on the Weller/Style Council/Jam playlist. A LOT.

Random ten

1. Man In the Cornershop- The Jam
2. Standing Next to Me- Last Shadow Puppets
3. Ovary Stripe- Kasabian
4. Do You Wanna Touch?- Gary Glitter
5. 8 Days a Week- The Libertines
6. Strawberry Fields Forever- Jim Sturgess and Joe Anderson
7. Going Nowhere- Oasis
8. Waterfall- The Stone Roses
9. No Good Advice- Girls Aloud
10. She's Tight- Cheap Trick

Bonus-
11. My Way- Aretha Franklin
12. Baby, I Love You- The Ramones

Sad

Miss Goody may have been many things, but 27 is awfully young to pass on to the next world...

Despite undergoing radiotherapy and chemotherapy, Goody learned in February that cancer had spread to other organs and was warned she had only a short time to live. The prognosis propelled her to try to secure the financial future of her two young sons – Bobby, five, and Freddie, four – through a series of media deals thought to be worth £1m.

The former dental nurse shot to fame on the 2002 series of Big Brother where she was ridiculed by media commentators for her appearance and ignorance – she asked whether East Anglia was "abroad" and thought Rio de Janeiro was a person. She came fourth and spent the next couple of years making the most of her fame – producing keep-fit DVDs, opening a beauty salon, writing her autobiography, launching her own perfume and appearing on television shows including Wife Swap and Celebrity Stars in Their Eyes.

The public turned against her in 2007 after she was accused of racism and bullying towards Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty on Celebrity Big Brother. More than 45,000 people complained to the media regulator Ofcom about Goody's behaviour towards Shetty.

Goody visited India to apologise for the distress her actions had caused and had hoped her appearance on, Bigg Boss, the India version of Big Brother would also help to make amends.

Hopefully this will lead to increased numbers of women seeking cervical cancer screenings.

RIP, Jade.

Imagine...

Around $1.2 million in illegal drugs was seized over the weekend as 75,000 fans descended on Hampton, VA for the reunion of Phish.Over
$68,000 in cash was also seized and 194 people arrested at the event, which saw Phish perform three nights in a row after almost five years away from the live circuit.

Random ten

1. Be My Baby- The Ronettes
2. La Tristessa Durera (Scream To a Sigh)- Manic Street Preachers
3. Everything's Coming Up Roses- Ethel Merman
4. I Wish- BabyShambles
5. Tell Me A Lie- The Fratellis
6. Cool For Cats- Squeeze
7. First Love- Adele
8. Love Machine- Girls Aloud
9. Made Of Stone- The Stone Roses
10. Motorcycle Emptiness- Manic Street Preachers

Bonus-
11. I Just Called To Say I Love You- Stevie Wonder (Oh, GOD)
12. What Katy Did Next- BabyShambles

Hmmmm

Veddddddy interesting....

Rapper Snoop Dogg surprised fans and reporters alike this weekend by revealing he has joined the Nation of Islam. Speaking at the religious group's Saviours' Day convention in Chicago, the 37-year-old praised the group's supreme minister and national representative Louis Farrakhan. It is reported by the Associated Press that he also made a donation to the group of $1,000.

Hmmm

Many years ago, when I was but a naive Cygirl, I dated a guy who I thought was Prince Charming and would whisk me off to his castle in his vintage Chevy truck where I would bear his children and loll about being pampered constantly.

I found out after two years that he was more like the things that came out of the Hellmouth that Buffy had to keep stabbing through the heart with a wooden stake.

In short, he was a lying sackashit, dumber than a sack of hair ratbastard.

My point?

He keeps requesting me as a friend on Facebook. I keep ignoring his requests, but he keeps a-asking.

In his profile picture, he's doing the Shocker hand gesture. Seriously. He's 34 fucking years old. Douchebag.

You know, it WAS a long time ago, and frankly, I'm over it. My friends, however, are not. When I forwarded the initial request to my girls... woooweeee. My delicate ears have never heard such language. Stace said-

"OH MY GOD. I have no words. Wait, I have one. FUCKER."

And I'm pretty sure a blue cloud is still hanging over Casey's condo in Chicago.

I'd approve his request for the LOLZ, but I apparently don't live too far from him, and I wouldn't be too hard to find. And I have no, nada, nyet desire to have him show up on my stoop, prostrating himself at the cute-shoe-clad feet of The One Who Got Away Because He Was A Jackass.

Resolutions

1. Increase self confidence through natural or artificial means. Whatever it takes.

2. Worry less (quit laughing, Jen)

3. Get into enough shape to run the Bix this year, rather than jog it. Er, walk it briskly.

4. Develop some money management skills



We shall see...

Wow

We now know the identity of one of the boogeymen from my childhood...

HOLLYWOOD, Fla. – A serial killer who died more than a decade ago is the person who decapitated the 6-year-old son of "America's Most Wanted" host John Walsh in 1981, police in Florida said Tuesday. The announcement brought to a close a case that has vexed the Walsh family for more than two decades, launched the television show about the nation's most notorious criminals and inspired changes in how authorities search for missing children.

Does anyone else have conversations like these with their mother?

Working closely with ones parent... not exactly an ideal job situ. But you know, I'm pretty lucky. Mom and I get along very well, actually like gangbusters.

It's not always perfect- I'm a bit morose occasionally, she can be overly ADHD around holidays. But we generally work very companionably together.

Our conversations do tend to be, um, ATYPICAL for a mother and daughter.

For example, take today. We discussed-

1. How the hell People magazine could have overlooked the cast of 'Skins' in the photo spread on the hottest whippersnappers under 25 in the annual 'Sexiest Man Alive' issue.

2. Who would we rather hang out with- R. Kelly or Prince. We decided (if in a controlled environment), definitely R. Kelly. He may be an abhorrent human being, but we think Prince might be a bit of a prick.

Seriously, it's completely hilarious.

Today at work,

we were discussing my many fears. Heights, spiders, driving when it's raining, and most the most odd one- nubby-textured things.

I freaking cannot handle textured things, such as the grapevine wreaths that have the ends trimmed so that there's a cluster of sharply cut ends... *shivers*

I'm also not crazy about crocodile skin-patterned things. Icky.

And this costume of Lovefoxx CSS's... eek.

Had to share. Sorry.

Oooo

Matt Taibbi has a blog? With post titles like-

Wall Street: Less Responsible Than a Coked-Out NFL Running Back

SCORE!

Random ten

1. Molly's Chambers- Kings Of Leon
2. Gang Of Gin- Babyshambles
3. Where Angels Play- The Stone Roses
4. So Far Away- Carole King
5. Carpetbaggers- Jenny Lewis
6. The Masterplan- Oasis
7. Gimme A Sign- Ryan Adams
8. 2 Hearts- Kylie Minogue
9. I've Just Seen A Face- The View
10. Umbrella- Manic Street Preachers

Bonus-
11. Last Nite- Adele
12. Me Plus One- Kasabian

Hmmm

When being totally honest, everyone has something about themselves they'd like to change. Bad hair, foot odor, crap sense of humor, flatulence, et al...

Me? One would think I'd like to have a concave stomach or an actual arse (rather than have total flatness from the waist down), but you'd be wrong there.

I want to be a pretty crier. Someone who evokes sympathy, empathy, rather than "Dear GOD, how has her face swollen to that level? She's all blotchy and sneezy! And how can she keep her eyes open when they're so puffy?"

Seriously, I turn into Orry in 'North and South' when I cry.

Random ten

1. Autumn Song- Manic Street Preachers
2. Distant Dreamer- Duffy
3. L.E.S. Artistes- Santogold
4. Antmusic- Adam & The Ants
5. If I Needed Someone- The Beatles
6. Just a Little Lovin'- Shelby Lynne
7. Come On Come On- Jet
8. Melt My Heart To Stone- Adele
9. Back To Black- Amy Winehouse
10. Fidelity- Regina Spektor

Bonus-
11. From Despair To Where- Manic Street Preachers
12. Respect- Aretha Franklin

Dear God

As I've mentioned, I'm doing the flowers for one of my best friends from college's wedding this weekend.

What I haven't mentioned is that I'm slowly losing my mind. I'm so distracted and stressed out, I've-

1. Set my iPod down somewhere in the house, and don't have a bloody clue where it is

2. Haven't been able to sleep (BOO!) or eat (YAY!) for the past week

3. Keep second (and third and fourth) guessing myself on the amount of fresh and supplies I'm going to need to schlep to Chicago for the blessed event

And today did not help. I-

1. Looked at the tab for the umpteen million mini calla lilies for said blessed event, and nearly died/crapped myself/passed out/combination of these things.

Two bucks more a stem than I quoted initially. Cost of fuel is impacting shipping costs. THANKS, CHIMPY! Lovely war we're having.

2. Upon running the new numbers in my head, I had a panic attack and broke out in hives. Seriously. I'm a nervous wreck on a good day, and this... this was not a good day.

3. Then my jeans fell down. See #2 on the first list. No, not the not-sleeping bit. The other one. Thankfully, I was alone in the shop/had cute knickers on.

The bleeding ulcer I've been working on for years is quickly becoming a reality.

I'm praying to St. Anthony (for the iPod) and St. Preston Bailey (for the flowers). Oh, and Jesus. Because that's how I roll.

I am so sorry for that last bit.

Hmmm

My reaction to the news of Dirty Pretty Things splitting up?

(in case you care)

"Damn it, Carlito just got fine again, and NOW they break up? CRAP!"

'Tis a sad day.

In an exclusive statement to NME.COM the four piece – Carl Barat, Didz Hammond, Gary Powell and Anthony Rossomando – announced the break-up of the band that formed in 2005 following the split of The Libertines.

Frontman Carl Barat explained that the members of the band would be pursuing new musical projects, but that these would not involve The Libertines.

Random ten

1. Tempted- Squeeze
2. High Fidelity- Elvis Costello
3. Stop Me- Mark Ronson
4. Pass the Buck- Stereophonics
5. The Cedar Room- Doves
6. Walk On Gilded Splinters- Cher
7. Acid Tongue- Jenny Lewis
8. Dumb Dumb Dumb- Teenage Fanclub
9. Caught In A Moment- Sugababes
10. Since You've Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson

Bonus-
11. Satin Chic- Goldfrapp
12. Tommy Gun- The Clash

Can't argue with this

Mark Ronson's fantasy band. Mmmm, Jamerson. And hell yes to Levon.

Vocals - Stevie Wonder and Steve Winwood
Can I have two? Stevie Wonder is just the most amazing singer of all time so he has to be there. Steve Winwood was for me the first important white soul singer I ever heard and he blew me away. I think they'd work well together but Steve would probably modestly let Stevie take centre stage.

Guitar - Curtis Mayfield
Slash is probably my favourite guitarist but he wouldn't fit in this band very well so I'm going to go with Curtis Mayfield. He's known for his singing but he played soulful blues better than anyone.

Bass - James Jamerson
Jamerson was the original and great Motown session bassist. He created the bass on The Jackson 5's "I Want You Back". I basically rip off all his basslines.

Drums - Levon Helm
He's probably my favourite drummer just for the fact that The Band were so funky for a rock group. So many soul bands sampled the laid back patterns that he produced. On songs such as "Up on Cripple Creek", he played some of the funkiest grooves.