Jo Rowling is my hero

Not only does she write wonderful books for children, that are sophisticated enough for adults, she says things like:

I mean, is 'fat' really the worst thing a human being can be? Is 'fat' worse than 'vindictive', 'jealous', 'shallow', 'vain', 'boring' or 'cruel'?

And, my favorite:

'Stupid Girls' satirises the talking toothpicks held up to girls as role models: those celebrities whose greatest achievement is un-chipped nail polish, whose only aspiration seems to be getting photographed in a different outfit nine times a day, whose only function in the world appears to be supporting the trade in overpriced handbags and rat-sized dogs.

That last bit is truly inspired. I love you, J.K.

Gorillaz in NYC

The following made me burst out laughing-

You'd be forgiven for thinking that that was as weird as the evening could possibly get, but then you'd have forgotten about Shaun Ryder. The famously addled Happy Mondays singer, who was clearly on something, took the stage with his leather jacket in one hand, a lollipop in the other and his fly unzipped. He bumbled around the stage as Rosie Wilson sang, eventually traded lollipop for microphone to deliver some incomprehensible babbling, and then crouched down as Wilson was dancing and appeared to be trying to sniff her ass.

Catherine Keener is so lucky

Well, in that she associates with fantastic looking men! Not only was she married to Dermot Mulroney in actual real life, in the new movie Friends With Money, she's hitched to Jason Isaacs. Who plays Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter movies. Lovely, just lovely.

The beautiful game

Indeed! I need to lie down on my fainting couch for a bit. Mmmmm... Freddie

My mother must never read this

It would just ruin Sir Tom for her. I'm capable of keeping a secret. Though it would be way, way worse if she found out Van Morrison is a Scientologist. Tom Cruise makes her slightly crazy.

She's managed to survive my dramatic ass for 30 years, but that Van-related item might prove to be her undoing.

This is strangely endearing

Oh, my fandom tendencies could force me onto this route soooo easily, it wouldn't even be funny.

Years ago when a friend and I went to pay homage at Salford Lads Club, we found that the iconic doors used on the cover of The Queen Is Dead had been painted blue!!! We went straight over the road to a DIY store and bought exactly the right shade of green paint and a couple of brushes and restored the doors to their rightful state.

On your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness

Went to the Houston Chronicle's website with the hopes of seeing the reviews of last week's Oasis concert there. In a fairly small venue. Yes, I am totally regretting moving from the Bayou City at this point. The Chron's music blog had an icon of Liam, but no freaking review. That's just mean. *head desk*

Wasn't a total loss, though. Tom DeLay has apparently dropped out of his re-election campaign in Texas.

So we've got that going for us, which is nice.









(with apologies to Caddyshack)

Wrote For Luck

For an explanation of the loud groaning-type noise you just heard, see #20. The noise (groaning) would be coming from my co-workers.

Sooooo getting the album...Since Martin produced some of the Roses's work, I'm guessing their effing record label wouldn't let one of their songs on. Asshats.

Lindsay, sweetie.

When accepting an award at a children's show, thongs are not acceptable undergarments. Especially when wearing a short, flippy skirt. Emphasis on 'flippy.'

9 to 5

Again, Ms. Dolly is a national treasure.

Oh, because while I don't know what, if any, work she's had done on her face, it certainly looked as if Fonda's cheekbones were trying to escape their casing and possibly merge with her brow bone. And because she was sharing a couch with Dolly Parton -- or a reasonable facsimile thereof -- a woman who is fond of such aphorisms as "Honey, if it's saggin', baggin', or draggin', I'm gonna have it nipped, tucked, or sucked!"

But Fonda perservered. "I just came back from Scandinavia and France," she said. "And they still have their faces there, you know what I mean? I just thought: Man, somebody's gotta give a face to old age!"

Solemn pause.

"Well, it ain't gonna be me!" shrieked Parton.

As I've no iPod, here goes

my semi-weekly list of songs that I've listened to more than a million times. This week.

1. Mardy Bum- Arctic Monkeys
2. Juicebox- The Strokes
3. Ooh La La- Goldfrapp
4. Fly- The Jam
5. Teenage Kicks- The Undertones
6. This Is the One- The Stone Roses
7. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me- The Smiths
8. Black Horse and the Cherry Tree- KT Tunstall
9. Cigarettes and Alcohol (live)- Oasis
10. Wings of Speed- Paul Weller

Bonus-
Bonzo Goes to Bitburg- The Ramones

Roses for Helen

This is so awesome. Helen Thomas (little tiny veteran reporter in the middle) deserves a dozen roses a day.

Let alone 100! dozen roses. Yay DU!

And, I have to say, that's a hell of a lot of roses. Glad I didn't have to condition them -strip thorns, leaves, etc....

Well, this is just depressing

To the band formerly known as The Smiths,

Guys, I know your respective artistic integrities and all that are at stake, but think of the fans! Especially those of us who weren't cool enough/didn't have access to college radio during The Smiths heyday. Those of us who liked Def Leppard. Or Journey. Not me, of course. Ahem.

And it must be said, Johnny Marr (far left in piccie) is so, so cute to me. Now (2006), too. Morrissey was/is pretty and everything, but Johnny- mmmmmm...... Lovely.

Yes, I am aware I have a serious tendency to fancy guitar players of Irish descent from Manchester, but oh well.

Everybody has their thing.
(With apologies to the writers of "Can't Hardly Wait.")

Hee. Pasty is pretty.

Went to one of those "spa" parties tonight. You know, one of those Pampered Chef/Mary Kay parties. I live in rural Iowa, believe me, this is quite exciting for a Thursday.

Well, let me tell you what happened. The Spa Lady in charge did that thing where they hold a black light up to your face to show sun damage. And guess what? She made me stand there while all 20 women got the black light treatment, 'cos my face was so without sun damage-type issues.

My 'flawless' self even looked better than the 17 year-old at the party. (Ages at the party ranged from early 50's to said teenager. Including a girl from my grade in school). Okay, so the Spa Lady pointed out that both my nose and chin were quite oily (tell me something I don't know), but hell, I'll take oily over wrinkly any day!

See, Joy, being chalkish is good!

The Kids Are Alright

I now have hope for the youth of this country. A reminder, they (the awesome students protesting) did not make the choice to come here, for the quasi-xenophobes out there, who are apparently saddled with the surnames of Fire Thunder, Lighthorse or similar. Because, you know, they have NEVER been immigrants. Snark.

I personally came from the fertile IA soil, unencumbered by ethnicity, despite the fact that I emerged from the loins of folks named Ertz, Nielsen, Schmidt, Janssen, MacDonald, Yohe, Stumph and Reif:) I'm American, dammit.

I'm so kidding. I hate that knee-jerk patriotism. Of course my future is informed by my past. To claim otherwise is just moronic. There are lots of both good and bad things about this country. I think that the students demonstrating in LA and around the country exemplify one of the finest characteristics of (some) Americans, the willingness to take to the streets when things are going wrong.

Yay Jimmy!

"Stairway to Heaven" voted the best guitar solo of all time? Sounds like a great excuse to get out the 'dragon pants' picture, which gets my vote for one of the best stage costumes of all rock time.... With added bow action!

Fav Zep song? Oh, there are so many.

1. Celebration Day
2. Misty Mountain Hop
3. How Many More Times
4. Bring It On Home
5. Sick Again
6. Traveling Riverside Blues

I know they're somewhat derivative, but as I've explained before, I Do Not Care. Led Zep, oh God, rocks. Sorry, Jimmy, Bob, John Paul and Bonzo, I cannot do you justice.

I still love you, John!

As a woman of a certain age, ahem, 30-ish, I adored Duran Duran. Loved them. John Taylor with lipstick and eyeliner? Yummers!

Caveat: I was 7 when 'Rio' was released, and I also had crushes on Barney and Hooky from New Order at approximately the same time. So they balance each other out, or so I'd like to think.

It all went straight down the crapper into the neu-country wasteland that was my adolescence, though with occasional Stone Roses/Brit pop forays out of the wilderness. But I digress.

Q Magazine released its list of the worst albums ever, with the Duranies's "Thank You" coming in at #1. I originally thought, "Well, that's a bit harsh;" then I read the tracklisting.

Must look at John Taylor in eyeliner to gain strength to carry on....Okay, I'm back, but help me out here, John. What grade of pharmaceuticals were y'all under the influence of when you thought, "Hell, let's cover Public Enemy!" Or, sweet Lord, Lou Reed? LOU REED, man! I'm not thinking it was Coke Classic. At least in liquid form, ahem.

John, where are you? Are you dancing on the sand? Were there wolves? Tell me they were hungry! They'd damn well better be, 'cos that's one hellacious-not-in-a-good-way album.

Okay, this is ridiculous

From August of 2001 until June of 2005, I was a teacher in a school district-which-shall-not be-named in Houston, Texas. My school was very diverse, and largely impoverished, and about 70% Hispanic, though those items are not automatically related, mind.

This new law that amoral f*&# Sensenbrenner- who, in my mind, is way overcompensating for being heir to the Kotex fortune- is proposing is completely without moral value. Anyone who helped someone who turned out to be illegally in this country, would be charged with a felony. In other words, you could let someone critically injured in a car accident bleed out, without being charged, because they were an illegal alien. Maybe I missed something, but that seems both awful and wrong to me. Not to mention, tempting Karma just a little too much for my comfort.

And, I would be a felon. Last year, one of my students, who came from an absolutely involved and totally supportive family, came to me to ask if I'd write a letter to INS to help her family not be deported. I did, they didn't get sent back, and now her parents are in the process of becoming citizens. I knew they were here illegally, and I didn't care. I consider my student asking me, trusting me, to help her family, one of the greatest honors of my life. So much that, 9 months on, I still cry when I think about that absolute trust.

In conclusion, this law wouldn't be considered if the perception (conventional wisdom and all that) of an illegal immigrant included the word "Caucasian." That is all.

Ronnie and Keef

I cannot even imagine Ronnie Spector and Keith Richards showing up at my house for tea. Totally surreal.

And the circle is complete

Zak Starkey to possibly join Oasis on a permanent basis.

This last line is why I am truly in unrequited love with Noel Gallagher:

"If he came to me tomorrow and said, 'I want to leave The Who and join you lot permanently,' I'd say, 'Brilliant. Get me your dad's autograph and you're in.'"