Thursday, January 12, 2006


I'd like to state for the record, I do not know what in the hell was going through the minds of the people who nominated the nominees for the Brit Awards. (For you non-Anglophiles, the Brit equivalent of the Grammys). The Black Eyed Peas? The Pussycat Dolls? Jack Johnson? JAMES BLUNT????? He's posh, for Christ's Sake! Pop stars shouldn't be posh! (Joe Strummer, aside, of course).

Dear God, and I nearly had heart failure at the Grammy nods for Gwen freaking Stefani....

Not to mention, in my humble opinion, "Don't Believe the Truth," is a great album. Definitely the best since "Morning Glory." And for the love of all that is holy, better than f-ing Coldplay's whiney asses. Don't get me wrong, I have much respect for Gwyneth landing the object of her stalking, but it doesn't change the fact that they whine. A lot. And don't even get me started on Bono's megalomania. You lie down with dogs, you get fleas. I'm speaking of the politicians he associates with here.

Though I am deliriously happy that they're giving Paul Weller aka "The Modfather" the Outstanding Contribution to Music award. Too right.

As you can infer, I do enjoy the rock and the roll. Preferably loud. I like the following:

1. Attitude in a lead singer. Actual singing ability not necessary, if charisma/showmanship/sneering is superior enough. See: Brown, Ian.
2. Guitars that you can feel at the base of your spine.
3. Bass and drums that make you want to dance. Or at least jump around like a spaz.
4. Driving tunes. Lyrical prowress optional. If you have a great tune, the lyrics don't have to make perfect sense. Or sense at all. See: "Digsy's Diner," Definitely Maybe, Oasis.

For reference, see: Rolling Stones, The. Who, The. Zeppelin, Led. Jam, The. Stone Roses, The. Oasis.

As I am frequently wrong about many things, it is possible I am wrong about what makes rock spectacular. Worth thinking about.

See, Things I have been wrong about:
1. No one would be drunk enough to jump into the canal in Pella
2. My sister, not a minion of Satan
3. Dating guys that more people know their nicknames than their actual given names= good idea
4. The American public would never be stupid enough to worship Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton's respective emaciated asses
5. Classes? I can skip this week. Let's go to the bar!

So, you see, there are precedents.

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