Saturday, July 26, 2008

Absorbine Jr. is my god now

Am tired. So very, very tired.

Though not THIS tired.

Anyway, I'll write more about
this tomorrow, including the characters that passed me during my top 10,000 finish. Such as Tinky Winky and the San Diego Chicken.

Not. Making. This. Up.

And how as feared, the Brady Street hill did NOT kill me dead.

Ah, I hear the dulcet tones of the sofa calling... I'll be there in a moment, lover...


Got two friend requests on my Facebook account today. Am ignoring them because

1. they both are listed as Republicans. Um, yeah. I just don't think my pinko Commie hippie ass would have very much in common with them...

This, however, is the kicker-

2. both list Creed and Korn among their favorite bands.

"Can I take you higher?"

No, put me down and back away, frat boy.


Yes, I am a dreadful snob. But as Rob says in 'High Fidelity,'

"...I agreed that what really matters is what you like, not what you are like... Books, records, films -- these things matter. Call me shallow but it's the fuckin' truth..."

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Random ten

1. Drop It- Biffy Clyro
2. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head- Manic Street Preachers
3. Ooh La La- Stereophonics
4. Velocity Girl- Primal Scream
5. Wasteland- The View
6. Ampersand- Helsinki
7. Straighten Up and Fly Right- Robbie Williams
8. Removables- Manic Street Preachers
9. I Don't Want to Hear It Anymore- Shelby Lynne
10. Teddy Picker- Arctic Monkeys

11. Kiwi- Maroon 5
12. Nowhere to Run- Martha Reeves & The Vandellas

Ye Gods

Russell Brand will host this year's MTV Video Music Awards, it was announced today (July 24).The famed British comedian, known primarily to US audiences for his turn as the rock-star boyfriend in the film 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall', will helm the event, which takes place September 7 at Paramount Studios in Los Angeles.

Dear Jesus,
Please have Russell bring in Noel Fielding for an opening sequence where they re-enact the whole Justin Trousersnake/Ms. Jackson bit from the Superbowl halftime show. Or something.

In return, I promise not to commit any of the deadly sins for the next minute or so.


Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I always suspected

that Johnny Rotten was a bit of a jerk. Now I know he's actually a raging, allegedly racist, asshat.

New details of the bust-up between Bloc Party frontman Kele Okereke and ageing Sex Pistols singer John Lydon emerged today as the Foals' tour manager revealed that three members of the Oxford band suffered injuries during last weekend’s fight.

Foals tour manager Nick Jenkin today called Lydon’s description of the event at Barcelona’s Summercase Festival “totally untrue,” and said he watched Okereke being punched by the Sex Pistols’ entourage while the band’s frontman, known as Johnny Rotten, taunted the Kaiser Chiefs’ Ricky Wilson, after he went to the aid of the Bloc Party singer.

Jenkin also told Times Online that Foals frontman Yannis Philippakis tried to help Okereke but was put in a sleeper hold by a security guard until he passed out and was then handcuffed as he lay on the ground. “He had a boot on his back,” Jenkin said.

I know this is wrong, but I'd pay good money to see video of the whole confrontation. Not to see poor Kele get abused, but to see Ricky Kaiser and Yannis Foals going off... the words "comedy" and "gold" come to mind.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Mercury Prize shortlist

YAY Adele! Good job, Alison and Bob! Excellent work, Laura! Brilliant, Estelle!

And well done, Young Master Turner and I've yet to think of a nickname for him Miles!

I'm not going to lie-

I bawled when I saw that Estelle Getty had died. Giant tears, as I spent many hours of my formative years laughing my ass off at 'The Golden Girls.' RIP, Sophia.

Getty, who suffered from advanced dementia and died on July 22 at the age of 84, wasn't always a sitcom queen. She got her start in Yiddish theater, but didn't break out until 1981, when she played Harvey Fierstein's mother in the Broadway play Torch Song Trilogy. She also had small roles in Tootsie (1982) and Mask (1985). In 1985 she started on The Golden Girls, which was an instant hit and quickly became a staple of NBC's Saturday night lineup.

Let me get this straight-

Chuck Grassley, the long-time Iowa Republican Senator (with whom I disagree on, oh, ALMOST EVERYTHING) is being refused a delegate position at the Republican National Convention.

Possibly on the grounds that he isn't batshit insane.

Do you have ANY idea how painful it is for me to not email this to my very conservative, Iowa-bred brothers?

I may have issues with Sen. Grassley, but let me tell you, he has been on it regarding the flooding in SE Iowa.
ON IT. Am loving Chuck right now. And SE Iowa is heavily, heavily Democratic.

But you know, he's a decent human being and wants to help his constituents, who may or may not vote for him. Old school, man.


Monday, July 21, 2008


John Cleese, currently going through a nasty divorce, is dating an American half his age. He's 68, she's 34.

Big woo. Love comes in every shape, size and age.

This, THIS, is what I'm appalled about.

'I'm American and had never heard of Monty Python or Fawlty Towers, although I had seen A Fish Called Wanda,' she said.

Never. Heard. Of. Monty. Python.

Holy crap.


Wow. Just, wow.

Somebody needs slapped with a fish, STAT.

Sunday, July 20, 2008


While waiting for my sister to compete at the Iowa State Girls Track meet in the late '90s, I remember watching Lolo Jones run the 100M hurdles.

As I recall, my brother and I turned to each other and said, "Holy shit. HOLY SHIT."

And now she's an Olympian. Too cool.

When former Des Moines Roosevelt star Lolo Jones lined up for the 100-meter hurdle semifinals on Sunday at the Olympic Trials, the 25-year old Jones struggled to outrun her own emotions before attempting to outkick the top hurdlers at that distance in the United States.

And this is just awesome-

Winning a world 60-meter hurdles indoor title earlier this year in Valencia, Spain, and a growing list of sponsors also allowed Jones to lend a hand to her home state.Jones donated her earnings from the Olympic trials - $4,000, to be matched by her sponsor Asics, according to WHO-TV - to flood victims in Iowa.

I get the feeling

that James doesn't care for Jack White and Co...

But you know what? The Raconteurs can FUCK RIGHT OFF*. It’s astonishing to consider the leap Jack White has made since their formation – from the savour of punkfuckingrock to Eric Clapton, via guitar solos that resemble the most persistent Jehovah Witness, unable to take a hint and fuck off from your doorstep so you can get back to watching Countdown. Not that they’re showing Countdown at Benicassim, but I’m using the medium of metaphor here and so everything is just peachy. Now, it may surprise you that I’m something of a spiritual man. I have absolute, resolute belief in God. I believe that God loves everyone - everyone that is apart from the four people who make up The Raconteurs. God hates The Raconteurs, and during their set, struck down a puppy with cancer because the omnipresent creator was so infuriated by their spunk sickly dad rock. That and the face Brendan Benson does when he’s not singing that makes him look like he needs a constant shit. God hates The Raconteurs, and you, dear reader, should burn any Raconteurs records you may be stupid enough to own immediately – otherwise you will be sent to hell** and have to wank off Fred West for all of eternity. True facts. And they look like tramps. And the guy with the glasses looks like a massive, diseased bell end. And they left me thinking that we need a new Gallows record. And now.