Saturday, May 19, 2007

Oh dear

My darling Thomas,

This is a nice picture.

I am very appreciative that your jeans could not be tighter, and I adore that sweater.

It shows your lovely wee tummy.

However, we must talk about your taste in eye wear.

It's crap, love.

This is at least the third pair of hideous shades I've seen you wear.
You must consult Our Kid and Big Brother regarding this, ASAP. They can help, as their sunnies are usually drop-dead cool.

With much love and many impure thoughts,


PS- heard you, Sergio and the Other Fuckers, er, Chris and Ian, had a
knockout performance today.

Well done!

PSS- I also hear there's a total slag named
Kazza that thinks you're sex on a stick, and she has a bit of a thing for rock stars playing football, especially Mr. Pizzorno.

I'd steer clear of her if I were you. She's bad news....

Friday, May 18, 2007


No, not the Keef song from 'Exile On Main Street.'

I'm referring to my state of mind, since I get to work with my two favorite girls tomorrow-

Jen, my cheerleading buddy (former- I can't still do the Russian split jump, much to my disappointment, as I feel this would be a major plus when potentially wooing Brit rock stars)

and Hilly, the world's coolest teenager

So, to celebrate the occasion, I'm ripping them Cd's from my iTunes.

For Jen- Amy Winehouse, 'Back To Black' and Girls Aloud, 'The Sound of Girls Aloud'

For Hilly- The Fratellis, 'Costello Music' and The View, ' Hats Off To the Buskers'

YAY! Hopefully a minimum of stupid people will come into the shop tomorrow. Unlike today.

Congrats, Mr. & Mrs. Fielder-Civil!

lYou crazy kids! Best of luck to you!

As Us Weekly reported earlier today, Amy Winehouse wed fiance Blake Fielder-Civil in Miami, Florida this morning — just hours before taking part in a photoshoot for an upcoming issue of Rolling Stone. According to a source, the couple had actually planned to get hitched tomorrow, but when they dropped by City Hall today to get their marriage license, they decided to do it on the spot. “I don’t want to say it was on a whim, because that makes it sound whimsical,” said the groom, who was allegedly very giddy after the morning’s nuptials.

The View - Superstar Tradesman + Wasted Little DJs live

They are just adorable... very much looking forward to footage from this weekend's BBC Radio 1's Big Weekend.

(I believe the actual Wasted Little DJs are up on shoulders at the front)

Top 15 most played

on the old iTunes. Feeling a bit list-y tonight. Brit Bee is contagious.

1. L.S.F.- Kasabian (36)
2. Chelsea Dagger- The Fratellis (35)
3. Same Jeans- The View (31)
4. Country Girl- Primal Scream (30)
5. Me and Mr. Jones- Amy Winehouse (29)
6. Vince the Lovable Stoner- The Fratellis (28)
7. Your Love is Not Enough- Manic Street Preachers (26)
8. Claudia- The View (25)
9. Mersey Paradise- The Stone Roses (24)
10. Boys In the Band- The Libertines (22)
11. This Is the One- The Stone Roses (21)
12. High Fidelity- Elvis Costello (19)
13. Common People- Pulp (17)
14. Wasted Little Djs- The View (16)
15. Round Round- Sugababes (13)


3 of my favorite ladies, together! So fierce! Yoko and Ana and Beth, OH MY!

I must have Ana's dress. Divine.

Random ten

Shake what your mama gave you, and let the good times roll.....

1. Balaclava- Arctic Monkeys
2. Jackie Big T*ts- The Kooks
3. Dance To the Music- Sly and the Family Stone
4. Tonight- Kate Walsh
5. I Believe In You- Kylie Minogue
6. Autumn Song- Manic Street Preachers
7. Crazy Train- Ozzy Osbourne
8. Killamangiro- Babyshambles
9. Ophelia- The Band
10. It's Oh So Quiet- Bjork


11. Man In the Cornershop- The Jam
12. Claudia- The View
13. Slide Away- Oasis
14. What Have I Done To Deserve This?- Pet Shop Boys

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Let me be honest

I went to a VERY slashy place upon reading this news item this morning. Actually, I'm still giggling like Beavis and Butthead.

Oasis's Noel Gallagher has reacted to former Shockwaves NME Awards host Russell Brand's declaration of love for the guitarist.

In celebration of Gallagher's 40th birthday, which takes place on May 29, Brand posed wearing a garland round his neck with the legend: "Noel I love you too".

The Oasis star said: "The boy's desperate cries for love are pathetic, yet strangely compelling. I thought we had a strictly platonic relationship based on nothing more than our rapier-like wit and a mutual lusting for my missus."

He told The Sun: "Seems all along he's just wanted to use me like one of his blow-up dolls. I'm disgusted yet strangely intrigued."

Am picturing the Sex Insect using Big Brother.... Okay, I just squicked myself out a little there. Just a little, mind.

Thank God, the giggling seems to have calmed somewhat. Oh crap, 'Strict Machine' by Goldfrapp just came on the iTunes.

Damn, there I go again........

Manic Street Preachers - Your Love Alone Is Not Enough

This is a flawless pop song. Utterly perfect. The hooks, the strings- just absolutely wonderful.

And I want to look like Nina Perrson when I (finally) grow up. Sing like her, too.

Possibly the most fab shoes, evah

via FabSugar

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Words I never thought

would come out of Mr. James Walcott's mouth.

I love Kylie Minogue.

This just makes me love him more. And this is hilarious-

Kylie was lunching at the Waverly Inn and no one alerted me. Had the batphone silently lit up, I would have zoomed downtown and loitered at the bar until I was able to fall at her shoes in a gallant swoon and say hi.

On my one visit to Waverly Inn, our posse was sandwiched between Ron Perelman and company were at one table, Rupert Murdoch and crew at another.

Stereo supermoguls: very nice. I might have popped by their tables to introduce myself if it hadn't been for the leg clamps. Just being in the vibrating vicinity of those two tycoons was invigoratingly buzzy.

But, I'm sorry, compared to Kylie they are but shadows in the forest and she the angelic sunlight breaking through the leafy canopy.

Nice to know that a writer that I idolize is a big honking fan boy, too.

Now THOSE are pink pants

From the Poiret do at the Met.

No rose trousers here, no, ma'am!

Vacuum cleaning our cat

1. There is no way that Holden, the world's most spoiled Persian would let me do this to him, though it would be all shades of awesome
2. How hilarious is this?
3. via


I've listened to this song roughly 20 times in the past 24 hours. Love the lovely wee The View lads.

Entirely too romantic to have been written by teenagers.

And, "
I blame it on your upbringing, you were made around the side of a van."

Are you joking me? That's utterly fantastic!

I felt I was one with you,
You probably didn't see.
Oh I'm a nervous one,
My pain it comes easily.

Should I revolve my world around you,
Should I revolve my light around you?

Claudia, Claudia,
You're taunting you're teasing,
You know I have feelings too,
They're all for you.
Claudia, Claudia,
Provoking my heart,
And I still have not broken the code,
To your heart now, oh no.....

I blame it on your upbringing,
You were made around the side of a van,
You call me the trusting one,
Trust it comes easy man

Should I revolve my world around you,
Should I revolve my light around you?

Claudia, Claudia,
You're taunting you're teasing,
You know I have feelings too.
They're all for you,
Claudia, Claudia,
Provoking my heart,
And I still have not broken the code,
To your heart now, to your heart now, whoa whoa whoa.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Fat-bottomed girl*

As part of my new Spartan diet and exercise routine, I've actually (HORRORS) joined a gym, and have started to eat more healthily (aka not eating mozzarella sticks for breakfast, lunch and dinner).

However, as I am possibly the least disciplined person on earth who is not one Peter Doherty, I needed some structure. So, I signed up for Body By Glamour.

Your point, Cy?

I had to weigh myself. It was a required field. I generally avoid scales, as I want to avoid returning to the frightening stick insect look that plagued me in college.

Backstory time-

I went through an ATROCIOUS breakup (I truly believed that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were going to be galloping down Lincoln Way at any time), my grandmother was diagnosed with A.L.S and I turned 21. Within about 4 months of each other.

And two of my best girlfriends also went through stomach-turning breakups and turned 21, too. Not a good combo.

We couldn't eat because it made us nauseous. We couldn't sleep for the nightmares. Since our exes were cheap bastards and we were sure to run into them, house parties weren't an option. So, we went to the bar. A lot.

Let's just put it this way, we could have given The Winehouse a SERIOUS run for her money in her pre-'Back To Black' days. Or now, really.

The only reason we were never photographed stumbling out of bars with mysterious white powdery substances on our persons, was that we didn't think to get ahold of any mysterious white powdery substances. And we weren't celebrities, other than with the local bar staff.

We drank most girls under the table. We drank most GUYS under the table, which was either sad or hilarious, since we didn't have 30% body fat between the three of us, total.

We didn't really eat anything before closing time. (Constant application of beer worked to quell the nausea somewhat). We all got far too thin. It wasn't a conscious choice, but it still happened.

We all snapped out of it eventually , but I've avoided weighing myself ever since. Maybe I'm afraid it will start again? Eh, who knows....

I sometimes wish I could go back in time, and let our younger selves know that a ratbag cheating redneck, a stoner Al Bundy-type and a posh boy from Chicago weren't worth what we were putting our livers, stomachs and checking accounts through.

This goes a long way towards explaining my affection for Ms. Amy's trainwreck self. Girl, I've been there.

But I digress.

I weighed myself today. And it wasn't as awful as I thought it was going to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a bit, er 20 pounds, over what my driver's license says I am, but it wasn't terrible.

Just thought I'd share.

We'll return to pop culture and political rants shortly.

*This is a joke. Anyone who knows me can tell you, I have no ass. But it made for a clever post title, don't you think?

Sunday, May 13, 2007

812, 683 Ways To Please Your Man

From The Onion.

Sadly, this is not very far removed from actual magazine content.