Wednesday, May 17, 2006

My new snark idol

Meet Zoe Williams.

So sad. I have a sudden surge of sympathy for the man. He said at the time, "I'm lucky to have found a good woman who is strong like Linda". He went on and on, actually, about how "good" Heather Mills was, which always sounded a bit morally self-regarding, as if the more often you assert the goodness of another person, out loud, the more you ram home your own qualifications as an arbiter of such things. Oh, I've changed my mind again. Maybe he is an ass, after all.

Anyway, they announced their engagement really quite soon, which is when it was reported that Paul and Linda's three children - Stella, Mary and James - disliked Heather. This is uncharacteristic of Stella, particularly, since whenever you see a picture of her, anywhere at all, she is always holding hands with somebody. She absolutely loves humanity! She wants to hold its ha-a-aa-a-and.

Congrats, Johnny Borrell

You've joined my very prestigious list of people who need, for the love of the Baby Jesus, shut the hell up.

1. Bono
2. Gwyneth Paltrow
3. Katie Couric
4. Chris Matthews
5. Jamie Foxx (because of his extremely icky album. No double entrendre was left unmolested)
6. Johnny Borrell

Seriously, the latest addition pains me. I really like Razorlight.

Oh. My. God.


WHEN Paul McCartney wed Heather Mills in 2002 he decided against a prenuptial deal to keep his £825million fortune.

The couple said they were "too in love" to think about it.

But if they eventually divorce, Lady McCartney could walk away £200million richer.

Y'all, I think I could marry a guy in his 60's if I knew I could potentially walk out of the marriage with approximately 380 MILLION DOLLARS!

Someone needs to be canning their lawyers for letting them be that freaking stupid.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Handmaid's Tale, revisted

I don't know which part freaked me out most, this-

Check out the first paragraph of today's Washington Post story "Forever Pregnant," which explains that new federal guidelines issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ask "all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon."

Or this-

Apparently, all women "between first menstrual period and menopause" are now supposed to take supplements of folic acid, refrain from smoking, maintain a healthy weight and watch chronic conditions like asthma and diabetes. Other recommendations, mentioned lower down in the Post piece, are that women stay away from cat feces and "discuss the danger alcohol poses to a developing fetus."

I swear that tonight, just to stick it to those sick *&cks at the CDCP, I'm going to get drunk and clean out my cat's litterbox.

Y'all, The Handmaid's Tale was a CAUTIONARY STORY, not a freaking how-to manual.

Oh God

Yahoo just about gave me heart failure with this headline-

Oasis on hiatus

Till the next album, that is. Man, that headline is just MEAN. My first thought was, "Jesus, did Liam question the paternity of Noel's daughter, AGAIN?" But, all is apparently as well as it ever gets.

Monday, May 15, 2006

Hey Bono!

I don't give a rat's ass about what music Condi Rice 'likes'.

I mean, Aretha? Cream? Elton John?

Okay, maybe that last one. And Clapton was quite a right-winger in the '70's.

(Comments he made directly led to the Rock Against Racism concert series, featuring The Clash and The Buzzcocks).

But Aretha? PUHLEASE!

Maybe she listened, but she didn't
listen to the Queen of Soul. Ain't no freaking way.

Pic from