Don't we all

Headline of article about my former "boyfriend" potentially playing Glasto?

"Eavis Wants Noel."

Doesn't everybody?

Random ten

1. Girls and Boys- Blur
2. She's Tight- Cheap Trick
3. Gypsy Road- Cinderella
4. Just Can't Get Enough- Depeche Mode
5. Up the Junction- Squeeze
6. Freak Like Me- Sugababes
7. Whatever- Oasis
8. Spanish Harlem- Aretha Franklin
9. Dashboard- Modest Mouse
10. Mardy Bum- Arctic Monkeys

Bonus
11. Some Cities- Doves
12. The Delaney- The Libertines
13. Last Nite- The Strokes
14. Henrietta- The Fratellis

Kasabian - Empire

The View - Wasted Little DJ's

Oh, but they're wonderful.

Wildest pop stars

The Independent's list of the 'wildest pop stars' include such luminaries as Stevie Nicks, Led Zeppelin, The Winehouse, The Doherty, The Killer, Keith Moon, Grace Slick and Ozzy, but the following are my favorites:

Happy Mondays

The story goes that Tony Wilson signed the Happy Mondays to his Factory label after watching them come last in a battle of the bands competition at the Hacienda. If he'd known they would later come close to ruining him, he might have had second thoughts. Shaun Ryder, Bez (right) and their tribe's increasingly drug-addled antics during the Madchester years had a destructive effect not only on their own minds, but on the health of their management. Wilson gave the Mondays £200,000 to record their masterpiece and, he hoped, throw the near-bankrupt record company a lifeline. Instead, Ryder and co blew the lot on a drugs binge in the Caribbean and produced an album with no vocals.

And don't forget Our Kid-

Liam Gallagher

The simian, truculent, fight-picking, paparazzi-baiting lead vocalist of Oasis spent 10 years drinking, drugging, punching his brother Noel*, bragging (absurdly) about eclipsing The Beatles, and getting into scrapes with the law. The most notorious was in December 2002, when Gallagher and two other band members began fighting each other in a Munich hotel nightclub. One fell into a table where five or six large Italians were sitting. They joined in. The band's security men came to help, attacking other club guests. The police arrived and, possibly in an attempt to restore calm, Gallagher kicked one in the chest. The fight continued outside, where Gallagher lost two front teeth. He narrowly escaped a GBH charge and a two-year prison sentence. The tour was cancelled. To date, he's been banned from an airline, four hotel chains and Channel ferries.

*the interview where Our Kid and Big Brother spend the whole time cursing & insulting each other? One of the most hysterical things I've ever heard. The word 'fuck' is used as an adjective, noun and a verb. They argue over if it's "rock and roll" to be thrown off ferries. It also contains my favorite bit of an interview ever.

Liam- "And I had a few drinks, because I like drinking."

Noel- (yelling from the bathroom) "You can't drink, you dick."

Available on iTunes.

Oh, dear

In a few weeks, my new little nephew is going to be baptized, and his parents (my brother and sister-in-law) asked me to be godmother. This is hilarious for many reasons, but I'd have to say my complete lack of respect for ANYTHING The Vatican says would be the funniest.

Poor things didn't have any other candidates, obviously.

Which brings me around to the point of this post. My other brother (the godfather) lives on the East Coast, and needed the godparents eligibility statement emailed to him, which I did tonight.
What's so hysterical about that?

I forgot to unclick the box that would have left off my email signature. Which is?

"I know you like the roll of the limousine wheel."
The Libertines

I can't stop giggling. I'm going to be the best godmother, evah!

Kieren-The View

Kieren Webster from The View live in London Jan 2007, originally uploaded by bruciebonus.

He's just darling, isn't he?

Shut it. Enough with the Humbert Humbert jokes.

I just want to cry

Fucking hell, they were 18 and 20? Jesus Christ, they're not old enough to legally drink here, and now they've died for their country. D'ya suppose this had anything to do with lack of training?

Jesus. I'm no longer wanting to cry, I am fucking crying. I know they signed up and everything, but their families didn't, and well, they're still on this plane of existence. One of my co-workers's sons just completed Basic Training. He'll be Over There soon enough. I pray to whomever that she never has to deal with what these soldiers families are dealing with. But what makes us anymore special than these families?

First look

at Irina Lazareanu (former Babyshambles) wearing pieces from La Moss's TopShop collection.

Love the dress, love the jacket, love the shades, and for the love of God, someone get Irina a sandwich. And chips.

And incidentally, she has about the same haircut as I do. I was thinking of changing it up a bit, but now I might just leave it. Stay on trend and all that.

Cover albums

While I find the songs that bands cover to be quite interesting, this looks like a trainwreck to me.

A big, huge, potentially nuclear trainwreck.

Maybe as bad as the time that Duran Duran thought it'd be a good idea to cover 'White Lines (Don't Do It).'

Featuring Poison's original members, POISON'D presents the band's first new studio recordings since 2002's Hollyweird. Produced by Don Was at Hensen Recording Studios in Hollywood, POISON'D packs 13 explosive tracks, including new recordings of David Bowie's "Suffragette City," The Cars' "You're Just What I Needed," The Romantics' "What I Like About You," Sweet's "Little Willy," The Marshall Tucker Band's "Can't You See" and The Rolling Stones' "Dead Flowers."

Oh, for GOD'S sake

Hey you American visa- type people.







I know you're "acting in our best interest" (rolls eyes) but I'm telling you, by denying The View visas, AGAIN, you're only keeping us from the presence of 4 itty-bitty little Scots boys that happen to be talented musicians. Come on, they're not threats!

They had to get a makeup artist to cover their zits and hickies before opening for Big Brother at Royal Albert Hall last week. And they're wee enough that this is endearing!

They're on bikes in this picture. Bicycles, not motorcycles!

They're little hell-raising babies! But they would abide by US laws, yes siree!

Interesting

This article talks about major artists that have never had an American #1 album, such as Bowie, Tom Petty, Kiss (well, that's because they're icky), The Who, Ozzy, Neil Diamond, and The Smiths.

As for this at the end-

The Smiths/ Morrissey: Marr's former bandmates — and his former musical foil — must be hella jealous about his recent chart success, because none of them has ever gotten close to sniffing #1 on the top 200. The Smiths' final album, 1987's Strangeways, Here We Come, topped out at #55, and the Mozfather never got higher on the charts than he did with 2004's You Are the Quarry, which debuted at #11. Then again, all that could change if the Smiths would just go ahead and reunite already ... hint, hint.

I have this to say. Nah. Ganna. Happen.

The Fratellis - Henrietta

I love this song. And don't you think that the drummer looks like Bonzo with Reni's taste in hats?

Fuckery

Stupid Mother Nature.

I bought a pair of shorts and busted out the flip-flops and the fake tanner today.



(Neutrogena is this white, white, white girl's fake tan of choice)

This is totally unacceptable. It's spring, dammit.

Robbie Sinatra

For my girl, Jen, who is recovering from foot surgery. Here's 'My Way,' from "Swing While You're Winning."

(Yes, I like Robbie. He's pretty and a good singer, not just the "fat dancer from Take That." Shut it).

Dior Homme shakeup

from the horse's mouth. Hedi Slimane's account of why he left Dior.

Via his official website Hedi Slimane has spoken out for the first time about his split from Dior Homme. "I tried to make things work for about a year. However, I had the feeling it was not the right project for me. There are areas I will not compromise with at all when it comes to my work," he said. Dior announced Slimane's replacement last week as Belgian designer Kris Van Assche. Choosing to set the record straight in a lengthy statement on his website, Slimane also dispelled rumours about starting up his own label. "Perhaps in another time in my life, under other circumstances, my name and the management of a company under my own label would be considered differently." Citing unwillingness to compromise on his designs, Slimane added: "I had no other choice than to refuse the kind of proposition that was made and to decline a new Dior Homme contract. I decided to walk away from Dior and move entirely forward."

Fooking HELL

Ask and ye shall receive. The Manchester versus Cancer finale with Messers Brown, Mounfield and Cressa.

Oh My Dear Sweet Lord

Somebody BETTER get this on YouTube, STAT!

The climax of the Manchester Versus Cancer event saw former Stone Roses bandmates Ian Brown and Mani take to the stage with Smiths bassist Andy Rourke and New Order's Peter Hook to perform 'I Am The Resurrection', sparking scenes of pandemonium at the MEN Arena.

Best. Thing. Ever.

As previously mentioned, my family is in the process of cleaning out my grandparents home, and dividing up stuff. In the process of doing so, my mom found a book that she thought I'd enjoy.

The book? Published in 1951. The title?

"How To Give Sex Instructions: A Guide For Parents, Teachers and Others Responsible For the Training Of Young People."

Yes, a vintage sex book, and more specifically, a Pre-Vatican II Catholic sex book.

'Twisted' does not begin to describe this pamphlet. The author was apparently incapable of completing a sentence, and was really fond of one fragment in particular. "Mortal Sin."

In the section for boys, the author uses lots of airplane-related metaphors and has a section on 'self-abuse,' that contains the following sentence.

"Seed has life-germs and hence is sacred."

I'm telling you, this is the best present I've ever received, and I'm including when I was 7 and got a Barbie Dream House. I've been completely unable to stop myself from laughing.

Gromit!

So cute!

The world famous HMV logo is to get a new dog - in the shape of the heroic and long suffering Gromit.

The new image is based on the original 1898 His Master's Voice oil painting which features Nipper the dog listening to an early gramophone recording.

HMV will be using the image for three months to support the promotion of children's DVDs at its stores.

Speaking of crying

this is it for the downer posts. I swear.

Failed attempt at acquiring Japanese battle flag from WWII (for grandchild that actually knows where Japan is on the fucking map) aside, my mom did well today.

Apparently my grandparents bought a lot of records, and no one else wanted them, so my rock snob mommy grabbed 'em.

Y'all, I'll go through them later, but the records include "Stand By Your Man" by Tammy Wynette- unopened. Sinatra's soundtrack for "The Americanization Of Emily." I had to sit down whilst looking at them. She's going back for more tomorrow.

So here's the downer part. Dad grabbed my grandpa's dress trench coat for me. What a guy! Great condition, probably late 1950's, button-out wool liner, the whole 9 yards.

But the thing is, when I tried it on 15 minutes ago, I reached into the pockets, and found a linen hankerchief. And it smelled like Grandpa. Like stolen smokes, Old Style Light and incense. Like falling asleep during Mass, pretending to read the Missalette. Like hiding beers in the spring house.

Like calling all his grandchildren, in an affectionate way, "You old snake."

Like taking us through the timber (forest) that was on our land, and telling his budding naturalist grandkids what kinds of trees we had, and where to find the best Morel mushrooms and Bittersweet. What kind of wildflowers grew there. What animal tracks we were seeing. And most importantly, how we should keep out of the caves in the crick (creek) because there were Rattlesnakes there.

Like telling us stories about his great-grandpa, Joab, who had a lawyer on retainer at all times, because he was constantly shooting the neighbor lady's hat off of her head or running an illegal still.

How he always called my grandma, even when Alzheimers took her mind, "Mom."

And it broke my heart when it suddenly hit me that I won't see the old coot anymore. Ever. He's been gone since September, and now it's hitting me. God, it sucks when people you love leave.

Don't mind me, I'll just be the weepy mess in the corner.