Saturday, April 19, 2008

Today in unfortunate headlines

Pope tells of youth under Nazis

I should really

read Mr. Ruhlman more often. As to avoid near-tragedies.

Remember that sugar is incredibly hot and causes some of the worst cooking burns there are.


If he isn't actually a racist asshole, Clapton can do a remarkable imitation of one.

Clapton has not only never apologised for his outburst, but has continued to praise Powell; only last December on The South Bank Show he reiterated his support for the man and four years ago he told Uncut magazine that Powell had been 'outrageously brave'.

And Drew. He's such a lovely boy. Sigh.

With Doherty in prison McConnell is assembling an all-star super-group, featuring his own band Helsinki and special guests, to play at the anniversary gig. 'I wasn't even born at the time of the first carnival,' he tells me, 'but when I found out that the BNP had started a record company and were handing out CDs outside schools with racist music I just felt offended. That they were using music of all things.'


As promised, here is an installment in my series, College Stories From Cy.

Dumb Things My Guy Friends Did While Drunk And/Or Stoned.

Chapter 1- The Robitussin Incident

One evening, Casey, Wendy and I were out at the bar. Shocker, I know. We ran into our buddy, Ken, and decided to go to a house party over on Campus Ave. Ken's crib (he actually called it that) was close to the party site, so we headed there for a quick drink/potty pit stop before continuing on.

At Ken's, we saw his erstwhile roommate, John, laying face-down on the couch, and our friend, Jim, in a heap on the (disgusting) floor. I'm sure I made a tasteless Jonestown joke. We figured that they had been drinking/smoking, but then Casey spotted the two empty Robitussin bottles on the floor.

We were a bit concerned. Well, as concerned as very drunk people can be, so not at all. We were, however, keen to take advantage of our friends condition.

The girls and I laughed at them, while Ken went over to John and stole his smokes. John said (direct quote), "I see you taking my smokes, but I can't seem to find my arms." Then Jim leaped from a prone position to standing.

The drunk people were wigged out by this bizarre behavior, so we went on to the normal environment of a college kegger, leaving the syrup-addled people to reenact their own personal Dr. Gonzo/His Attorney scenes.

We hoped with less vomiting.

Friday, April 18, 2008


Live on "Late Night." Beth kicks so much ass, a new term needs to be invented for, er, how much ass she kicks. As always, girlfriend's outfit is interesting...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Random ten

1. Merry Happy- Kate Nash
2. It's Not Unusual- Tom Jones
3. Headshrinker- Oasis
4. Clementine- Babyshambles
5. Blackbird- Evan Rachel Wood
6. Help Yourself- Amy Winehouse
7. 9/15ths- Biffy Clyro
8. Rusholme Ruffians- The Smiths
9. Some Cities- Doves
10. The Denial Twist- Nikka Costa

11. Dead Flowers- The Rolling Stones
12. Never Ever- All Saints

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

National Gallery

National Gallery, originally uploaded by dnunez_za.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

So Soon Will They be Gone

So Soon Will They be Gone, originally uploaded by Rhadman.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Ah, nostalgia

Tonight, I got to take another parent, this time my dad, to the emergency room. During the annual burning-of-the-switch grass (helps growth), he not only managed to set his pants leg on fire, AGAIN, but he cut the hell out of one of his fingers, necessitating a trip for 5 stitches and a tetanus shot. Hmm, wonder if the cut had anything to do with the empty beer cans I saw on the tailgate of his truck? No...

See the "again?" He's done this once before. When I was in college, I was minding my own business, checking my email at one of the computer labs in Durham Center, when I saw a message from my mom entitled, "Dad's On Fire." He got a little over-enthusiastic with the gas can, and lit the entire hill by one of our ponds on fire.

He was panicking about this (it was getting awfully close to the house), when he noticed that his pants were smoldering. He jumped in the pond, and called the fire department. Dad had just recently retired as the town's assistant fire chief. Typical. He is a bit accident-prone. Just off the top of my head, he has-

-cut two fingers off with a hatchet, and had them re-attached (AT AGE 9)
-gotten heat exhaustion twice at fires, one of them before our family vacation to Florida. In August. I don't like to remember that one. He was a smidgen grouchy
-accidentally driven the lawn tractor into the pond. Mom was not amused

However, no injuries of his can compare with what my girls, Casey and Wendy, and I experienced one random Saturday night at Iowa State. We were, atypically, not out at the bars (because Wen's ex-fiance was acting, shall we say, a bit unhinged. But that's another story), and were hanging out at our friend Ken's apartment, which he shared with another friend, John.

John is, er, unique. And in college, we all drank quite a bit. Okay, a lot. Hello,
Iowa State? Anyway, we were hanging at Ken and John's apartment watching, if memory serves, 'Orgasmo,' when John came staggering in the door, heading straight for the bathroom. This was not unusual.

However, when he hadn't emerged 10 minutes later, Wen went to check on him. John was laying on the absolutely disgusting toilet, bleeding profusely. We were alarmed. John insisted he'd go to the doctor in the morning. We were even more alarmed.

So, Wendy, being a take-charge individual, told him "You may go to the hospital by Monte* or you may go by ambulance. You choose." He decided former route. Wendy stayed back with Ken, and Casey and I took drunkass down to the Monte.

As the car was really new at the time, I was a bit concerned about having, you know, BLOOD, all over it, so I made John put his seat belt on and hang his arm out the window. This was all well and good until Johnny decided that he needed a smoke. Then I made him hang his whole upper body out the window.

We arrived at the hospital, where shockingly enough in a college town on a Saturday night, the ER was packed. So Case took the bleeding inebriate in, and I parked the car. When I joined her in the waiting area, Casey was in tears laughing. This is the scene as I remember it-

Check-in nurse- "Why are you here?"

John- "I fell somehow and cut my arm."

Check-in nurse- "Was alcohol involved?"

John (holding up gash in the arm)- "What do you think? Oh God, don't tell my mom."

Check-in nurse- "Son, if you're on her insurance, she's going to find out eventually."

Case about wet her pants. So, while we were waiting for them to sew Johnny back up, we noticed a whole bunch of jacket-wearing sorority and fraternity-types, sitting huddled together and looking upset. We took one look at each other and said at the same time, "Alcohol poisoning." We are actually that mean sometimes.

Anyway, 17 stitches later, John emerged and tried give hugs to express his thanks in taking care of him. We declined, as when John fell and cut his arm (we believe maybe at an adjacent construction site), he somehow managed to roll in dog shit. Yes, in my new car, all in the same night, we had smoke, blood and animal excrement.

Believe it or not, this is one of my tamer college stories. Why yes, we all read entirely too much Hunter S. Thompson, why do you ask? Actually, I think Ken still has my dog-eared copy of 'Fear and Loathing.' Bastard.

Next in the "Cygirl's (vague) Recollections From College" series- "Dumb Things My Guy Friends Did While Drunk And/Or Stoned." Yes, Casey, this includes the legendary cheesecake and turkey incidents...

*my car, the Monte Carlo. I know, such a clever nickname.

I love you,

Noel, but this does smack a bit of "You damn kids get off my lawn!" And don't forget, "Back in my day, we walked 5 miles to school, uphill both ways, AND LIKED IT!"

Oasis' Noel Gallagher has said that he thinks the decision to book Jay-Z for a headline set at this year's Glastonbury festival was incorrect. Speaking to BBC News, Gallagher said that deviating from the festival's tradition of booking guitar-based headliners was "wrong".

Sunday, April 13, 2008