Saturday, February 16, 2008


Guanaco, originally uploaded by David Thyberg.

Friday, February 15, 2008


, originally uploaded by shannonerin.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

'A&E'- Goldfrapp

I can hardly wait for this album.

Random ten

1. Baby I'm Yours- Arctic Monkeys
2. A&E- Goldfrapp
3. Shoot The Poets- The Cribs
4. Jailbreak- Thin Lizzy
5. Stronger- Kanye West
6. There She Goes- Babyshambles
7. Shotgun- Junior Walker & The All-Stars
8. Tragedy- Bee Gees
9. Queen Bitch- David Bowie
10. Makes Me Wonder- Maroon 5

11. Fast Moving Train- Restless Heart
12. Hot Stuff- Donna Summer

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

'Can't Speak French'- Girls Aloud

What exactly are they hinting at here?

Benefit cosmetics new blusher is called "Thrrrob." Product description?
Turn on the flush, turn up the rush…with Thrrrob, our new "turned on" face powder. This pulse-racing pink powder simulates the natural flush you get when your heart races.


Comments made by employees at Iowa's Coolest Flower Shop this week. (names withheld to protect the pervy, the foul-mouthed and the hysterically tired)

-"Yeah, you get the sweet customers. I get the dipshits and the smartasses."

-"John Wayne? Why the hell would John Wayne order flowers?"

-"It'd be really handy to have a chainsaw around here."

-"I love it when you spank me hard."

-"Cozies get a lot looser when you put your bottle in and out a lot."

-"God, when she shows up, I hope she doesn't bring that big one with her again."

-"Do we have any red carnations? Do we fuck."

-"Yeah, that's what every woman dreams of for Valentine's Day. Flowers to match her damn kitchen."

These are in addition to our usual-
1. discussions on how moronic people can be
2. sighing over sweet old men buying flowers for their wives in the nursing home
3. ...or David Beckham
4. complaining about husbands and relatives
5. ...or having impure thoughts about Daniel Craig and/or Jonny Lee Miller
6. also, worrying if we can keep up with the orders
7. thinking about food
8. ...or me arguing that Drew Babyshambles is actually one of the sexiest men on Earth, and everyone else throwing things at me, both literally and figuratively
9. discussions about movies, music and other pop culture things

10. .... or sending persons on pop/change/bank runs

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Let's get ducked

Hee hee. My masterpiece won't leave the hat on...

Let me get this straight

a- the fact that Amy's personal life is a trainwreck of epic proportions completely negates any artistic achivements she may make.
b- it was acceptable for Ms. Cole to take drugs on the sly, whereas Ms. Winehouse's (albeit somewhat unintentional) openness about her substance use makes her bad, bad, bad.

Hmmmm..... methinks someone is trying to jumpstart their career by kicking someone when they're down. Shut the fuck up, Natalie. Go sing another duet with your dad. That worked out well for you last time.

Singer Natalie Cole has slammed the decision to award Amy Winehouse with five Grammy Awards, claiming that it is rewarding her bad behaviour. Cole, a Grammy Award winner herself who admitted to using the drugs LSD, heroin and cocaine in her 2000 autobiography, said that Winehouse did not deserve the honours.“I don't think she should have won,” Cole, the daughter of legendary singer Nat King Cole, told People magazine. “It sends a bad message to young people trying to get into this business, trying to do it right and keep themselves together.

Monday, February 11, 2008

And so it begins

Valentine's Day is this coming Thursday. At the shop, we're battening down the hatches, so to speak- conditioning flowers, typing the cards for the orders we already have, figuring out where the hell we're going to put everything.... Today, we started with 18 orders- we ended the day with 38. Eek.

Like many professions, florists have many inside jokes. Something that my shop in particular finds humor in may sound a bit mean- we laugh about how men* will buy ANYTHING for Valentine's and/or Mother's Day. Especially at the last minute. And when I say anything, I mean it. ANYTHING.

For example, last year at Mother's Day, I sold a decorative Wellington boot with fresh flowers in it. Yes, some unfortunate mom got a fucking boot for Mother's Day. And the guy was as pleased with it as a kitten with a bowl of milk.

However, the most legendary example of The Man Who Will Buy Anything is from the old shop that Mom and the other girls worked at (before Mom took off on her own). This man-who is a totally nice guy, bought for his wife-

-at Valentine's, an arrangement of sprayed purple and orange carnations
-at Mother's Day, a "crete" (arrangement of silk flowers in concrete, intended for cemeteries at Memorial Day)

No lie. His poor wife. Of course, I am the daughter of a man who once got his wife a picnic basket that weighed 20 pounds for Valentine's Day. 2 months after he got her a rowing machine for Christmas. Both of these were not requests. Amazingly enough after this performance, my sister and I were sent uptown to the jewelry store with a blank check for every subsequent holiday.

Last week, we discussing the most random things we could pawn off on some poor soul for V-day. I glanced over in the corner, and spotted a ceramic duck planter, intended for congratulating parents of newborn children.

I'm going to do one of those bad boys up with some roses, put a sign on it that says, "You're just ducky," and watch that bastard fly out the door. Though unfortunately, not literally.

*and bless them. Makes up for the days that we don't move jack/crap out the door.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

I think girlfriend may have been a bit shocked

I just want to give her a hug. And a sandwich. Keep getting healthy, honey!

Amy Winehouse won the Grammy for Song Of The Year for 'Rehab' at the 50th Annual Grammy Awards ceremony in Los Angeles tonight (February 10).