Oh, Lord

The medical professional consulted for this Savage Love column? My cousin's Republican husband, who has an fantastic sense of humor. Seriously. He once said to me, at his wife's grandmother's wake-directly after the Rosary, mind you, "I didn't know they were letting prostitutes in here tonight."

This would have been mildly amusing, but for the fact that the priest who just conducted the service was standing directly behind him, and made some comment that we should watch what we said, blah, blah, blah.... Also, Jeff said that with a live microphone in his vocal range. My family? Still hasn't recovered. I have not laughed that hard in many a year..... My parents laughed until they cried.

Medical and legal risks

Dan Savage discussed the subject in his October 25, 2006 "Savage Love" newspaper column. Savage wrote, "attempting a Donkey Punch can lead to ... unpleasant outcomes", including "injury, death, or incarceration"; he also pointed out that it "doesn't even work". He quoted Dr. Jeffrey Bahr, a faculty member at the Medical College of Wisconsin,

To the best of my knowledge, there is no definitive reflex in the human neurophysiology that induces involuntary tightening of the anal sphincter after receiving blunt-force trauma to the occiput, or back of the head.... Trauma to any part of the skull can have serious ramifications. Pain, intracranial hemorrhage, memory loss, neck injury, and possibly some related sensory deficits in the arms and legs. A strong enough blow to the back of an unsuspecting person's head could result in a vertebral fracture which, I hope most people know, could cause paralysis or even death.

Savage concludes, "Attempt a Donkey Punch and it's likely that your asshole will wind up constricting spasmodically — around your cellmate's cock."^[6]