Today at the shop, the UPS driver arrived with a package from one of the tuxedo companies we use, containing the trousers from a tux rental from last weekend. 
The trousers were completely shredded- entire inseam ripped out so badly that the winter-weight wool was stressed and frayed.  
This was accompanied by a note from the manager of the tux company.  It was pleasant.  After the nasty note he sent last week (about the same wedding), I want to call him and suggest he look into meds for cranky fuckers. 
I digress. 
So, Mom called the groomsman's folks house, and left a message about the trousers.  His mother called back and claimed that he had no idea what happened; that the trousers were intact as far as he knew. 
Y'all, the pants looked like someone thought they were tear-aways. I've been drunk many times, but I have to say, I've never been so out of it that I didn't notice my entire crotchtual region was exposed to the elements. 
We'll see what happens here.
To be continued...
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