What is wrong with this picture?

Look at this headline.

Scots Take Kylie Minogue Over the Boss, Yo La Tengo Ruins Hannukah, Should Gnarls Rerecord “Crazy”?

Now, read this.

When legendary UK summer rock festival Glastonbury returns next year, Bruce Springsteen will be headlining! Oh wait. No he won’t. This long-standing rumor has been put to rest. Bruce definitely will not be playing, according Emily Eavis, the festival organizer who originally was quoted as saying the Boss would headline the event. “He wasn’t even in the picture at any point, really, despite what some people have written,” she reportedly said. So who do we get instead? Possibly Razorlight and Kylie Minogue. Nice moves, Eavis.

Can you tell me what is wrong with the above? No? Well, let me tell you.

THE GLASTONBURY FESTIVAL IS NOT IN SCOTLAND. IT'S IN FUCKING ENGLAND! NOT SCOTLAND. THE VERY 'WOO, WOO, GROOVY' SECTION OF THE SOUTH OF FUCKING ENGLAND. (Paraphrasing Eddie Izzard). THAT'S WHERE IT IS! NOT SCOTLAND!

(And, on a slightly less shouty note, I'd like to point out that La Minogue and La Borrell are slightly bigger, make that massively bigger deals over across the pond).

Damn it, shouldn't a writer for Rolling Fucking Stone know that Glastonbury is in England? Or anyone, since it's kind of important in the whole Knights of the Round table thingy? Since Rolling Stone's blog appears to, ahem, liberate story ideas from the NME, you'd think they would have picked up on that fact. But, NOOOOO.

Of course, in the same article, the writer refers to a musician named 'Snoop Dog,' who may have some problems, since there already is a rapper named 'Snoop Dogg.'

Boy, I'm a bit ranty today, aren't I? You damn kids need to get off my lawn!

To hell with it.

I'm going back to bed. By myself. However, since I'm over 30, I apparently am ALLOWED to shag the male of my choice with impunity. Oh wait, I'm not married.

Gee, I wonder when the whackjobs in charge of the Department of Health and Human Services will decide that unmarried over-30's screwing pose a threat to the moral fabric of this country. GAH.

I'd like to point out that the dipshit making the announcement is named Wade Horn. Horn. Hee hee.

The federal government's "no sex without marriage" message isn't just for kids anymore.

Now the government is targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part of its abstinence-only programs, which include millions of dollars in federal money that will be available to the states under revised federal grant guidelines for 2007.

The government says the change is a clarification. But critics say it's a clear signal of a more directed policy targeting the sexual behavior of adults.

Via ShakesSis

They have to be joking me

How. In. The. Hell. Could. This. Be. EVER. Considered. A. Good. Idea?

BALTIMORE - Johns Hopkins University has suspended the Sigma Chi fraternity because of a "Halloween in the Hood" party that drew protests by black students.

The invitation to the party, posted on the Web site Facebook, encouraged guests to wear "regional clothing from our locale" with jewelry including "bling bling ice ice, grills" and "hoochie hoops."

The party, held Saturday night at the fraternity house, featured a skeleton pirate hanging on a noose.

Black Student Union members protested the party on Monday, saying the appearance of the image and the language on the invitation highlighted racial tensions at Hopkins and the strained relations between the university and the surrounding community.

And I hope to shout that the Black Student Union members weren't the only students protesting this bullshit.

Wait just a minute

"No" means nothing once sex has started

Thanks, I guess, to Jessica at Feministing for bringing this scary piece of news to our attention: A Maryland appellate court yesterday ruled that the state's rape law is clear on the fact that no doesn't mean no if it comes in the midst of consensual sex.

The three judge panel yesterday tossed out a rape conviction on the grounds that when the jury on the case asked the judge to clarify whether a woman could legally withdraw her consent after the start of sex, the judge should have informed them that she could not. According to this panel, Maryland law is not ambiguous on this point

Are you trying to tell me that if I was having 'relations' with some guy, and he pulled out jumper cables/small animal/another person/a gun/whips and chains/some horrible and nasty thing of unknown provenance, I couldn't say, "Look here, buddy, you need to go fuck yourself, because I'm certainly not going to continue to do so?" AND THERE WOULD BE NO LEGAL RECOURSE?

What is this, a particularly ill-considered and timed April Fool's Day joke?

Little Britain

Dear God, I love 'Little Britain.' And Rob Brydon.

Life On Mars

I haven't mentioned my intense love for "Life On Mars" on BBC America. It is utterly fantastic.

John Simm is awesome as Sam Tyler- and I'm not just saying that since he played Bernard Sumner in 24 Hour Party People- and I have a slight thing for Phillip Glenister, who is extremely attractive to me in an older English guy sort of way. Also, I adore Liz Wright as Annie, whose unrequited crush on Sam had damn well be requited before the series ends.

The show is only going for 2 seasons, so there's no danger of the post-coital awkwardness that David and Maddie faced on Moonlighting. Seriously, Sam and Annie need to hit it before the series ends. Watch the show, you'll agree.

I am just DYING here, people

HOT DIGGITY DOG!

Oasis, Arctic Monkeys and U2 were the big winners at the 2006 Q Awards, with Oasis being crowned best act in the world today.

The band's Noel Gallagher also collected the classic songwriter award at the London ceremony.

The Arctic Monkeys - who had four nominations - won the best album and the people's choice awards, while U2 picked up the prize for innovation.

May I point out that, honest to God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, WHOEVER, I seriously own CD's by almost all of the bands honored at the Q awards, and in some cases, i.e. Oasis, Weller and the Screamers, own almost their entire back catalog? Wow, what a run-on sentence.

AND that I saw the Arctics in concert in Chicago, and would have attended the Kasabian concert, were it not for a family funeral?

Hot damn, I'm good. Here's a lovely piccie of Noel as a reward for reading that crap piece of writing, though. Fwwahh, Mr. Gallagher.











Okay, I have GOT to quit re-reading Bridget Jones's Diary once a month. Alright, weekly. V.v.v. bad for writing technique. Dammit.

Oh, I would have enjoyed this

Paul Weller opened the BBC Electric Proms in London last night, with a greatest hits set featuring guest appearances from Carl Barat, Amy Winehouse and Richard Archer.

Set list?

"Blink And You'll Miss It"
"Paper Smile"
"From The Floorboards Up"
"Out Of The Sinking"
"Wild Blue Yonder"
"The Changingman"
"Porcelain Gods"/"I Walk On Guilded Splinters"
"Above The Clouds"
"Savages"/"Fly Little Bird"
"I Heard It Through The Grapevine"
"Don't Go To Strangers"
"You Do Something To Me"
"Come On/Let's Go"
"Peacock Suit"
"In The City"
"Running On The Spot"
"Foot Of The Mountain"
"Sunflower"
"That's Entertainment"
"Down In The Tube Station At Midnight"
"Broken Stones"
"Town Called Malice"

Dear GOD! So awesome......

David Bowie - The Jean Genie

Love this song. Love Mick Ronson.

It's amazing

how such seemingly innocuous things can wind up being so important in the grand scheme of things.

C86, the unassuming mail-order cassette compiled by NME, through which the indie sound and scene first coalesced, will have its 20th anniversary celebrated tonight with the first of two gigs at London's ICA, the venue where many of the tape's bands performed.

A double-CD released this week, CD86, sets out the wider scene these bands were part of, and a documentary, Hungry Beat, will be released next year. It is a remarkable upsurge of interest in a scene that self-consciously kept itself on the fringe of the mainstream, but nevertheless became hugely influential.

and

After punk's Year Zero attitude, and early 1980s' synth-pop, this return to the past is one of C86's defining legacies. Primal Scream's "Velocity Girl" began the tape, and inspired The Stone Roses, in turn sparking Oasis, who would be signed alongside Primal Scream by McGee, shortly before conquering the world with their fuzzed Beatles riffs. From The Living Room to Knebworth was not such a long trip.

Jet - Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is

Masterplan

God, this is a great song. Video, too.

Dixie Chicks Shut up and Sing Trailer

Friday random ten

---

1. Dixie Chicks- Goodbye Earl
2. Kasabian- Shoot the Runner
3. Ozzy Osbourne- Crazy Train
4. Aretha Franklin- The Weight
5. Lily Allen- LDN
6. Smiths- How Soon Is Now?
7. Scissor Sisters- She's My Man
8. Clash- Julie's Been Working For the Drug Squad
9. Happy Mondays- Tart Tart
10. Eagles- Tequila Sunrise

I'm of the opinion

I've been shockingly accurate with predictions related to pop culture lately. So I'd like to go out on a limb, and say that I believe that Paul Simonon, bassist from The Clash, is due for a revival of sorts. Why would I say this?

1. In Vanity Fair's August issue, both Kate Moss and Hedi Slimane (Dior Homme) name-checked Paul as their respective most 'stylish man.'
2. Luella Bartley (fashion designer) told InStyle (UK edition) that she thought Mr. Simonon was quite cool (paraphrasing a bit there).

I'm making an educated guess here. Also, see the following. Since Damon Albarn's side projects tend to be bulletproof, I feel fairly safe in saying the previous.

Simonon was of course the symbolic part of The Clash, the stylistic totem on the London Calling cover. Damon's art school leanings must have relished the chance to work with him. Since The Clash Simonon has played rockabilly in Havana 3AM and has developed a career as an artist with a fair hand in striking landscapes.

Guess Who's Back?

Oh, yeah- DSL is working at home. Thank Christ. Will resume regular Anglophillic blogging shortly, dolls.

About this past month...

The following things have happened in the past month or so- in no particular order.

1. DSL at home? Kaput. My computer-whiz cousin is currently laying his hands upon the computer, so there is hope.
2. The gigantic pain in my ass that I work(ed) with? Quit via the answering machine and is now working for the competition.
3. My grandpa passed away. Miss the old coot already. Didn't go to the Kasabian concert, as the wake was the same night. Apparently, some things are more important to me than music. Who knew?

For anyone who cares, will resume regular blogging soon.

Also, Jet's new CD kicks ass.

Killers in Blackpool

I adore the Killers for many reasons, mostly because they are massively influenced by New Order, and love Oasis- hello, why would I NOT love them- and because my dear friend, Carrie, literally attended Sunday school with Dave Keuning in the bustling metropolis of Pella, Iowa.

Let me tell you people, there are not that many famous people from Iowa. Okay, so there's John Wayne, Donna Reed, the Everley Brothers, Ashton Kutcher, Elijah Wood and Ron 'Office Space, Band of Brothers, Sex and the City' Livingston.

So when an honest-to-God guitarist with a wildly successful band emerges from the tall corn state, well, we're going to claim him. Kiss off, Las Vegas.

(I know I'm not citing as Iowegians that crap band Slipknot. Though they are from Des Moines Why? Because they suck. Hard).

So reading stuff like this? V.v. cool.

The specifics of these new songs are lost in the sound mix, swirling around the Victorian arches of a venue whose acoustics were not built for rock'n'roll, but the reaction to the familiar favourites - "Somebody Told Me" and "Jenny Was a Friend of Mine" in particular - is such that, if I had hairs on the back of my neck, they'd be bristling like a pestered hedgehog.

The Lay-dees Do America

Oh, hell yes!

Little Britain stars David Walliams and Matt Lucas have revealed plans for a film version of their hit BBC show.

"We've had some sort of interest from America," Walliams told ITV1 chat show host Michael Parkinson.

"We've got a sort of film development deal out there and also we might do something for TV out there," he added.

The comedy duo have signed a deal with Pop Idol producer Simon Fuller to develop a US version of Little Britain for the American cable network HBO.

Crack is whack

After 14 years of marriage to Brown, she could lay claim to almost as many "Houston, We Have A Problem" headlines as she could platinum records. Her last record was released three years ago, and that was a phoned-in Christmas album, notable largely for a please-God-make-it-stop version of "Little Drummer Boy" in which she duetted with her and Brown's daughter, Bobbie Kristina, and accomplished the unimaginable feat of inspiring nostalgia for the David Bowie/Bing Crosby version.