Envy isn't what creates a classic bitch - who never feels threatened, and always feels superior - so that rules out the Kate-haters and Nigella-nigglers. It also keeps out your classic you're-not-going-out dressed-like-that old nag - see Vivienne Westwood and Fay Weldon blaming the Spice Girls for everything from the Black Death to global warming - because when the nipples go south the nose invariably heads north. Jade Jagger's "Slag" necklace, sent to Kate Moss after the alleged thieving of then-beau Dan Macmillan, was a low blow but hardly the act of a true bitch - just some well-connected nobody, peeved at losing her man to the Best of Breed. And there's a bitchy line, if you please.
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