So funny

Two items from that bastion of journalistic integrity, The Sun.

NATALIE PORTMAN stars in PAUL McCARTNEY’S new video for Dance Tonight, thanks to her friendship with his designer daughter STELLA.

Macca says: “I rang her and said, ‘I’m Stella’s dad’. Luckily, she was between films.”

and

Hold on to your skirts, ladies. A bulletin from RUSSELL BRAND on my MySpace page tells us his comedy gigs will act as “freedom rallies” so he can “establish a society of hanky panky”.

He welcomes “women aged between 18 and death”.