Thursday, December 20, 2007

Bah freaking humbug

The holidays? Bring out the stupid in people. As I'm so, so, so very tired from making millions of centerpieces and delivering them all over bumfuck Egypt today, here's a sequence of events.

-Woman comes into store last week and orders a very complicated centerpiece to be picked up this AM. You don't get complicated for 30 bucks, which is what she wanted it for.

Centerpieces are very time consuming, so the labor eats up a lot of value that could be applied to the flowers. You pay 50 bucks, now then you can be picky.

-Woman is slightly snooty. 30 bucks and snooty. Get down with your bad self.

-This AM, woman walks in and wants her centerpiece. Which isn't done. Or even started. (it's been slightly wild this week).

-Mom tells her we will deliver her masterpiece for free to a neighboring town.

-Woman is mollified, tells Mom that someone will be home all day.

-Fast forward a few hours. I'm driving around, trying to find the fucking house for delivery in London-esque fog.

-Okay, and listening to Babyshambles and Wee The View Lads at top volume.

-Alright, and texting Kaz. But for serious, I was actually paying attention to where I was going.

- I find the house. Knock on the door, carrying the most beautiful 30-dollar centerpiece EVER CREATED.

-No one is fucking home.

-Try to keep extremely friendly Lab from knocking me to the ice-covered ground.

-Really wish I didn't have on slippery, but cute shoes.

-Pound on the door. Can hear TV inside.

-Ring doorbell again. It's really fucking cold, and I have another 3 places to get to, and it's starting to get really farcking foggy.

-Check door. Is open. Leave centerpiece (in a protective pink bag- keeps flowers from dying) on stairs.

-Leave house.

-Get back to shop an hour later.

-Snooty woman calls and gives me the 5th (or whatever is the worst) degree about why her centerpiece hasn't been delivered. I'm like, "Au contraire. I did deliver it." She then asks me all sorts of details about the house I delivered it to, and I'm thinking, "Bitch, please! Do you know how many deliveries I did this afternoon?" (I turn into Snoop when confronted with stupid people)

-She asks her father if he's seen anything in a pink bag. He had. AND HE THREW IT AWAY. Now, you have to be a particular kind of idiot to throw something like that away. It was obviously, obviously flowers. The card was on the outside. It smelled good.

-Woman wanted us to deliver another one tonight. For free. Got snooty with Mom when she said that wasn't our responsibility. Mom refused to budge. Hanging up may have occurred.

-May I point out that on the way home an hour later, I drove 35 MPH because the fog was so bad. So I was supposed to risk my life for thirty fucking bucks because her father is a blooming moron. Yeah, that's about right.

I hate people sometimes. Merry Effing Christmas.


Kazza said...

Wow. What a dumbass.

Funny I've been using that word a lot during the last 24 hours.

Cygirl said...

Why would that be?


wishing he was insane in a cool way more often said...

hello... mr flesh?