Monday, February 11, 2008

And so it begins

Valentine's Day is this coming Thursday. At the shop, we're battening down the hatches, so to speak- conditioning flowers, typing the cards for the orders we already have, figuring out where the hell we're going to put everything.... Today, we started with 18 orders- we ended the day with 38. Eek.

Like many professions, florists have many inside jokes. Something that my shop in particular finds humor in may sound a bit mean- we laugh about how men* will buy ANYTHING for Valentine's and/or Mother's Day. Especially at the last minute. And when I say anything, I mean it. ANYTHING.

For example, last year at Mother's Day, I sold a decorative Wellington boot with fresh flowers in it. Yes, some unfortunate mom got a fucking boot for Mother's Day. And the guy was as pleased with it as a kitten with a bowl of milk.

However, the most legendary example of The Man Who Will Buy Anything is from the old shop that Mom and the other girls worked at (before Mom took off on her own). This man-who is a totally nice guy, bought for his wife-

-at Valentine's, an arrangement of sprayed purple and orange carnations
-at Mother's Day, a "crete" (arrangement of silk flowers in concrete, intended for cemeteries at Memorial Day)

No lie. His poor wife. Of course, I am the daughter of a man who once got his wife a picnic basket that weighed 20 pounds for Valentine's Day. 2 months after he got her a rowing machine for Christmas. Both of these were not requests. Amazingly enough after this performance, my sister and I were sent uptown to the jewelry store with a blank check for every subsequent holiday.

Last week, we discussing the most random things we could pawn off on some poor soul for V-day. I glanced over in the corner, and spotted a ceramic duck planter, intended for congratulating parents of newborn children.

I'm going to do one of those bad boys up with some roses, put a sign on it that says, "You're just ducky," and watch that bastard fly out the door. Though unfortunately, not literally.

*and bless them. Makes up for the days that we don't move jack/crap out the door.


not funny said...

HA better than "You ducked up!"

Cygirl said...

I also suggested "Wanna duck?" but my fun-hating mother said no.