Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Comments made by employees at Iowa's Coolest Flower Shop this week. (names withheld to protect the pervy, the foul-mouthed and the hysterically tired)

-"Yeah, you get the sweet customers. I get the dipshits and the smartasses."

-"John Wayne? Why the hell would John Wayne order flowers?"

-"It'd be really handy to have a chainsaw around here."

-"I love it when you spank me hard."

-"Cozies get a lot looser when you put your bottle in and out a lot."

-"God, when she shows up, I hope she doesn't bring that big one with her again."

-"Do we have any red carnations? Do we fuck."

-"Yeah, that's what every woman dreams of for Valentine's Day. Flowers to match her damn kitchen."

These are in addition to our usual-
1. discussions on how moronic people can be
2. sighing over sweet old men buying flowers for their wives in the nursing home
3. ...or David Beckham
4. complaining about husbands and relatives
5. ...or having impure thoughts about Daniel Craig and/or Jonny Lee Miller
6. also, worrying if we can keep up with the orders
7. thinking about food
8. ...or me arguing that Drew Babyshambles is actually one of the sexiest men on Earth, and everyone else throwing things at me, both literally and figuratively
9. discussions about movies, music and other pop culture things

10. .... or sending persons on pop/change/bank runs

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