Friday, January 19, 2007


For those of us that read the progressive blogs, the creepy-ass 'Purity Balls' are old news. They were also featured in this month's Glamour. But now, they have a boy-mommy equivalent. And, you guessed it, they're still fucking creepy and sexist as hell.

That's right. There's now an event, sorta like a Purity Ball, only for boys and their mothers: the Integrity Ball. Why is this glamorous evening not called a Purity Ball, too? Because it's not up to young men to stay "pure." They just have to seek out a wife who is:

Baker told the young men that the women they had come with, their mothers, were somebody’s daughters, and they meant the world to those parents. He further told them that when they date a girl, she is somebody’s daughter, and they care deeply for her.

Baker also told them that while they might not believe it at the time, the girl they may date in high school is probably not going to be the one they will marry. “So you’re dating someone else’s future wife,” he told them. He also told them that someone else may be dating their future wife.

“If you knew somebody was with your future wife,” Baker asked them, “touching her in ways you wouldn’t like, pressuring her, how would that make you feel?”

Even though it's a program for boys, it's still all about how young women need to be pure! Notice how they're taught that women always, at every stage of their lives, "belong" to a man. First daddy, then some "future husband" they haven't met, then a husband. The Integrity Ball speakers don't say that men will stand at the altar symbolically accompanied by all of their previous sexual partners. Nope, that burden is the woman's alone, if she hasn't maintained her purity.

Speaking of self-control and the meaning of sex, Baker told the young men, “Having sex doesn’t make you a man. Dogs have sex, but it doesn’t make them a man. Guys, separate yourselves from the animal kingdom.”

Sure, it's good to tell young men that they shouldn't pressure their partners into having sex. But of course it's never acknowledged that their girlfriends might have "animal urges" as well. All of the language echoes the same old abstinence-only stereotypes: "women are passive receptacles who don't enjoy sex" and "men are horny animals who can't control themselves."

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