Ah, that I had tickets

To T In the Park. Goldfrapp and Weller and Arctics, OH MY!

Bands Among Confirmed:
Placebo
Belle & Sebastian
Goldfrapp
The Kooks
Weller
The Go! Tean
Charlatans
Strokes
RHCP
Franz
The Who
Arctic Monkeys
Kaisers
Sigur Ros
Damian Marley
Screamers
Richard Ashcroft
Magic Numbers

Left arm, left arm!

Many years ago, I proclaimed, during the episodes of 'Friends' that Bruce Willis appeared on, that I would sacrifice my left arm in order to, well, have carnal knowledge of him. In my defense, I was under the influence of Busch Light and 'Moonlighting' at the time.

That being said, I'd like to transfer the 'left arm' thing to Mos Def. Love him. Love. Him.

Oooh, I want this CD

Sounds like a great one. Not just saying that because of the lovely Noel piccie:)

This shows me that

though I have many, many, many differences with her husband's political decisions, Mrs. Bush needs, for America's sake, a fashion intervention. Trinny, Susannah, where are you?

Seriously, we have many quality designers here in the colonies. Why shop at a place that clearly focuses on the big-gal-in-the-mid-1970's market? Tragic outfit, my friends, tragic.

And don't get me started on Condi's periwinkle nightmare. It looks like a bridesmaid dress I was once shoehorned into. Unwillingly, mind.

It isn't just me

Think of England? Snerk.

Ah, but will the pharmacies stock Viagra?

From yahoo!

During a speech last year at a Catholic men's gathering in Boston, Monaghan said that in his community, stores will not sell pornographic magazines, pharmacies will not carry condoms or birth control pills, and cable television will have no X-rated channels.

IwannagoIwannagoIwannago

Gorillaz in NYC? At the freaking Apollo?

IwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannago
IwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannago
IwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannago
IwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannagoIwannago!

Sorry for the annoying. But I. Wanna. GO.

This Week's Sign

The Apocalypse is Upon Us (with apologies to SI)

James Blunt has become the first British musician to reach Number One on the US singles chart in almost ten years.

My ears! My ears!

Ms. Dolly is a model citizen

Oh, that other Americans with the means to do so, would use their money to lift others up.

I did the Butthead laugh

For about 5 minutes after seeing Daniel Craig in swimwear.

Not a FINGER!

"A Christmas Story" is one of my all-time favorites. I want a leg lamp more than I could ever possibly express coherently.

Hee hee

Cheeky Monkey!

Princess, indeed

I absolutely love that Julia wore her tiara on the medal stand. Much props to Ms. Mancuso.

Godspeed, Sheryl

Good luck, Sheryl. We fangirls will be praying for you.

I so want one of these

T-shirts. I think we feminists need to get the word out that we exist in all shapes and sizes, forms and functions.

Oh, Shaun...

Darling, what exactly do diamonds taste like? Just curious. Ooo, rather fancy watching "24 Hour Party People" again. Gee, why would that be?

This is why we need open bar at awards ceremonies

Can you imagine this happening at the Grammys? I think not. Awards ceremonies in America would be vastly improved by, for example, Kelly Clarkson vaulting onto Green Day's table.

Also, I absolutely love the fact that Hooky re-appropriated the award for the Kaisers. Again, try to picture this in the U.S.

Back the *&^% off

Reality check, people. Despite the fact that a 21 year-old ice skater, who may or may not have been injured, did not win the gold medal in women's figure skating, America will continue to blunder on.

Somehow, Sasha will continue to exist, much to the disbelief of various media wankers. Silver isn't bad, y'all. She fell twice, kept on trying, and finished beautifully. What was she supposed to do? Commit hari kari when she missed the first jump? Get a grip.

Oh for GOD'S sake

Attention, morons. Y'all, Morrissey isn't going to hurt a fly. The worst he'll do is verbally eviscerate you. So you'll wish you were dead.

Fav CD's, volume 1

Caveat- these are my favorite, not necessarily the best albums ever. Though I think they are. No freaking Radiohead, obviously, though with a definite Brit slant. No particular order for the following, strictly stream-of-consciousness.

1. The Rolling Stones- Exile On Main Street. Excellent all-around album, but my favorite tracks are Loving Cup, Happy (Keef sings!), and Tumbling Dice.

2. Oasis- (What's the Story) Morning Glory? Que? Don't Look Back in Anger (Noel sings:), Some Might Say, Morning Glory, Champagne Supernova and one of my secret favorite Oasis songs, She's Electric.

2. Aretha Franklin- The Very Best of Aretha Franklin (Atlantic). The House That Jack Built, Share Your Love With Me, and Baby, I Love You. Queen of Soul, indeed.

3. The Beatles- Abbey Road. Because I've actually dodged traffic on said road, trying to get my picture taken. Unsuccessfully. Also, Come Together, Octopus's Garden and Here Comes the Sun.

4. Led Zeppelin- III. Why pick one of the most critically disparaged Zep albums? Bron-Y-Aur Stomp, Out On the Tiles, and my all-time fav Led Zeppelin song, Celebration Day.

5. Willie Nelson- The Essential Willie Nelson. Why? Associated memories with my late, beloved grandmother. Also, Pancho and Lefty, Bloody Mary Morning and Angel Flying Too Close To the Ground. Sublime.

6. The Jam- The Jam At the BBC. Superb live album. Contains my favorite Jam songs, Thick As Thieves, Town Called Malice, Saturday's Kids and Down In the Tube Station At Midnight.

7. Oasis- Definitely Maybe. Fantastic debut. Unbelievable songs. Cigarettes and Alcohol, Rock and Roll Star, Slide Away and my favorite, Digsy's Diner. Oh, and a little ditty called Live Forever. You may have heard that one....

8. Ryan Adams- Heartbreaker. Indeed. Worth a slot simply for Come Pick Me Up.

9. Otis Redding- The Very Best of Otis Redding, Vol. 1. I don't need to justify Mr. Redding, but Try A Little Tenderness and I Can't Turn You Loose.

10. The Stone Roses- The Stone Roses. Rarely has pop been this perfectly crafted. The whole album is f-ing brilliant. She Bangs the Drums, Waterfall, (Song For My) Sugar Spun Sister, This Is the One. Unbelievable. Not to mention I Wanna Be Adored and I Am the Resurrection. I worship the ground that Ian, John, Mani and Reni walk upon.

Now this is interesting

Susanna Hoffs and Matthew Sweet? Talk about power pop heaven!

Go Sasha!

I hope she can retain her focus for her long program. I dearly wish I was 1/100th as bendy as Ms. Cohen. That being said, this is my official outing as an Olympics Nerd. I even watch curling, for the love of Mike.

Sick F%$#

May I point out that this sick bastard is not standard for Iowegians? This totally made me angry/need to take a shower. Jerk has 'sociopath' written all over him.

Kate and Keith

My girl, Kate, is like Keith Richards. If a nuclear holocaust should occur, they'd be the only ones left standing. Oh, and cockroaches.

Seriously, what a comeback. Color me impressed.

RIP

One year ago today, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson passed from this world. Speaking for my various libertine friends, we miss you, Hunter. Rest in peace.


"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."

More Footballers' Wives

I adore this show. Delightfully trashy.

Top ten

I'd like to pretend that I'm staying up to watch the BAFTA's on BBC America, but no. I'm actually still awake to watch the season 3 premiere of 'Footballers' Wives.' What can I say? I love me some Tanya.

That topic addressed, here's my weekly top 10-ish obsessively-listened-to songs....

1. Ride A White Horse- Goldfrapp
2. Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want- The Smiths
3. Mr. Brightside- The Killers
4. A Certain Romance- Arctic Monkeys
5. Like A Hurricane- Neil Young
6. Whatever- Oasis
7. The Changingman- Paul Weller
8. Hickory Wind- The Byrds
9. Saturday's Kids- The Jam
10. Going Down- The Stone Roses

Bonus track- Gimme Shelter- The Rolling Stones. Merry Clayton's vocal is amazing. Chills- down-spine amazing.

Goldfrapp

I love Alison Goldfrapp's cranky self. Not to mention her music. Also love the fact that the MEN article refers to her as "The Frapp." Quite excellent. Dirty, but good.

Not that 'dirty' and 'good' are mutually exclusive qualities. God, no. Usually the opposite.

Rio

One of my favorite travel shows on TV is Globetrekker. Last season, one of the travelers went to Rio, and visited the favelas. The level of poverty is absolutely mindblowing, so close to such wealth.

Profane, but utterly excellent

I aspire to the level of profanity reached by Angry Black Bitch. Her perfectly strung together obscenities convey the proper amount of disgust with the stupid, and inspire me. Fantastic.

Grey's Anatomy

OMFG. Sign #979 of my tendencies toward moral depravity, I find the plastic surgeon that Addison cheated with, while married to McDreamy, mind you, wildly attractive. Dirty mistresses, indeed.

I personally think...

Voldemort, but Bond villan works, too.

Sometimes I hate living in SE Iowa

I want to see this movie so badly, it's actually physically painful. Quite a few of the actors from "24 Hour Party People," one of my favorite movies ever? It looks so funny!

And will it be showing here? Hells, no! We didn't even get "Pride and Prejudice!" Had to go to Chicago to see that one!

Uh, WHAT?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but when someone shoots you, albeit by accident, I was not aware that protocol dictated you apologize for any inconvenience you may have caused said shooter.

You know, for plugging you full of bird shot, and inadvertently causing you to have a heart attack. I must have missed that in Emily Post.

I'm assuming that Don Henley and Stevie Nicks are due for a comeback, then

Link on the main MSNBC site said, "Leather and lace are super for spring."

Snark aside, at least they're showing wearable by non-stick-insects fashion. None of this tulip skirt, tapered trouser, high waist nonsense. Or gauchos, Sweet Baby Jesus, gauchos.

Amen

I can't really add anything more to this.

Screamed like a little girl

Partially as a result of article content, and because the page quit loading halfway through, so I wasn't able to see which "Manchester legend" joined my boy, Ian, on stage.

Oh My God, I Can't Believe It

James Blunt is the winner for British Male Solo Artist? Over Ian Freaking Brown? (who, granted, can barely carry a tune in a bucket, but deserves to win any award he is nominated for in the future for having been in the Roses).Over Robbie? Jeez, over Will Young? ARE YOU JOKING ME? Wow, I guess the Grammy voters aren't the only idiots.....

Weller looked sharp, as per usual. And he did "Town Called Malice." Sigh.

Jake and Lloyd

It's not just me,that has obsessed over Jake Ryan and Lloyd Dobler, then. Who's better? Lloyd, though Jake has a better car. And is friends with Farmer Ted. But, the argument can be made that Lloyd runs around with The Piven. This is difficult!

If I was actually being honest about John Cusack characters that I would date, I'd have to say Rob "High Fidelity" Gordon or Martin "Grosse Pointe" Blank. Yes, I realize that Martin is a hitman. But he listens to The Jam!

This is more important to me, than the obvious-ethical-quandary-of-dating-an -assassin-type problems that I would experience. Not to mention the difficulties of dating a fictional character. Welcome to my morally (and reality) ambivalent world.

Very funny

This made me laugh very, very hard. Mostly because, back in the day, in my hometown's youth group, we were encouraged to sign a pledge to not indulge in any, ahem, out-of-wedlock-type behaviors teenagers are wont to indulge in.

After my best friend and I watched the town tramp (who made Regina in 'Mean Girls' look like Laura Ingalls Wilder) and her associates walk up to the front of the church and turn in their respective pledges, we decided that, hell, we were 16. Who knew what was going to happen? (Despite our being extremely 'good' girls at that point. Well, in body, though not in mind, for sure. Again, we were 16).

I, for one, was not willing to risk eternal damnation, because I wanted to suck up, figuratively, of course, to a bunch of self-righteous hypocrites. Haven't regretted this at all, even to this day.

Footnote- The aforementioned town tramp? Wound up knocked up 2 years later. Couldn't narrow it down who the father was.

Fitz

As much as I love my bad boys, there's something so, integrity-ey about Mr. Fitzgerald. Go on, Pat, get down with your decent human being self.

More Weller goodness

Yay! Very cool article, comparing The Jam and the Arctic Monkeys.

Indecision

I can't decide: is it all complete self-indulgent bullshit, or are there some moments of brillance in Pete's prison diary? I feel that I lack the intellectual depth to truly understand poetry- or the will to do so- hence, I may be missing something.

I know, I know, poetry is often a medium that offers entrance to the soul of beings. Expression of the contents of one's heart. But, often, it is shoe-gazing nonsense. Self-indulgent BS, natch.

Fwaaah, Mr. Clooney

So charming, intelligent, handsome. And handsome. Did I mention the fact that he's smoking hot? Oh, I did. Sorry.

"The path to his door is littered with the corpses of female journalists, who after spending half an hour in his company - smart, funny, so suave as to practically curve at the edges - simply expired on the way out and were left to petrify where they fell, on the green patterned carpet of the Dorchester Hotel."

You just can't make this crap up

The United States Judical System, debating what constitutes 'petting.' In Kansas.

On a not-very-related note, Go State! Beat the freaking Jayhawks!

Control

Though I was hoping to see Sean Harris, the actor who played Ian in "24 Hour Party People" reprise the role, I am very much looking forward to seeing this movie.

Y'all....

I just don't think I can continue to live in a country where Barry Manilow, Train and James Freakin' Blunt are in the Top Ten. I don't think I'm that strong.

I suppose this means....

Bono is never going to shut his yap. Good deeds, ya ya ya.

That being said, loved the Gorillaz feat. DeLaSoul, tribute to NOLA, Kayne and Jamie and Christina and Herbie Hancock's performances. And Sly's coat. And Mohawk. And the way that I teared up when he stepped onstage for 5 seconds.

"Love-Rat" Voldemort

Couldn't resist. Also love the bold letters on the word "mother"in the article.

Songs that make me smile

Oh, but there are so many.

1. Tell Her About It- Billy Joel
2. Jackie Wilson Said (I'm in Heaven When You Smile)- Van "The Man" Morrison
3. Sir Duke- Stevie Wonder
4. Bron-Y-Aur Stomp- Led Zeppelin
5. Sweet Jane- Velvet Underground (the bridge, specifically)
6. She Bangs the Drums- The Stone Roses
7. The Weight- Aretha Franklin (the addition of 'sock it to me' works. Fantastically).
8. Stray Cat Blues- The Rolling Stones (I know, sick puppy).
9. Town Called Malice- The Jam
10. She's Electric- Oasis

Bonus tracks- Paradise City- Guns and Roses. Slash is my man. (Though obviously not when this song was released. As I was 11). And "I Am the Resurrection"- The Stone Roses.

This is a satire, y'all

Oooh, but funny. This idiot, whom the letter is addressed to, is trying to outlaw any sex-related activity by the under-16's in Kansas. Including Frenching. Not kidding, unfortunately. But hey, as long as you're married (I believe you can get married at 14 in Kansas), it's all good.

Quite painful for the Iowa Stater in me not to snark further. Veddy painful.

Fricking Jayhawks.

The Vines

Hate to harp at people with problems, but when I saw The Vines in concert a few years ago, they recieved the dubious honor of being the first concert that I ever walked out on. And I saw Nelson (with the twins) when I was in high school. But we shall never speak of this again, m'kay?

An aside- Jet opened for The Vines. Blew them out of the water. I know they're a bit derivative, but I Do Not Care.

Thanks, Janet and Justin. Thanks a lot.

Oh for GOD'S sake, they censored The Stones? Jesus, Mary and Joseph- do the numbnuts at ABC realize that Start Me Up is played at, oh jeez, about every single farking NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB, BBC, NBC- okay, pulled the last two out of my butt- game ever? Well, since the release of Tattoo You?

Probably not. Wankers.

Harper Lee

To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my absolute favorite, all-time desert island books. After reading this article, I am going upstairs, find my copy and re-read it for the millionth time. As soon as Grey's Anatomy is over, of course.

OotP news!

Yay! Am so freaking excited! Luna, my girl, Tonks and Bellatrix look just like I thought they should!

Dread Pirate Roberts

Love The Princess Bride, so am totally thrilled when I see references to it.

Also, does anyone else think Pam had her Girls inflated again? Them are some big boobies!

Songs O' the Week

1. There Is a Light That Never Goes Out- The Smiths
2. Sexy Sadie- Weller
3. Red Dress- Sugababes
4. Fake Tales of San Francisco- Arctic Monkeys
5. Since U Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson
6. Bye, Bye Badman- The Stone Roses
7. Love Will Tear Us Apart- Joy Division
8. (What's the Story) Morning Glory?- Oasis
9. Twist- Goldfrapp
10. Rebellion (Lies)- The Arcade Fire

Even the papers are cooler

100 years of music. On the London Underground map.

Don't see the Roses on there- may be missing them- but I see my beloved Jam, Oasis, Basement Jaxx, Booker T. and the MG's, Ms. Aretha, The Band, Zeppelin, Stones, Curtis Mayfield, and "Uncle" Willie Nelson.

**my immediate family, i.e. myself, brothers Bart and Z, and our long-suffering mom, have a habit of referring to particularly beloved musicians as "uncle." Hence, Uncles Neil Young, Willie Nelson, Keith Richards, etc.... I get it honestly, in other words.

Ah, Dan, if only I were 14 years younger

What a cutie! Just realized how much older I am than the poor kid. Totally depressed right now. Jesus, Methuselah has nothing on me.

Maybe I've been listening to The Smiths too much tonight. Damn you, Marr and Morrissey. DAMN YOU!

Heh heh heh

Am massively influential. Due to my incessant talking about, and listening to of The Jam over the past few months, the following incident took place. My mom just ran into the basement to tell me that "Town Called Malice" was the song playing in the background, during the preview for The Matador.

My quest for world domination is right on track.

Cygirl, making a rock snot difference, one person at a time.

Keith is a God

Olbermann, not Richards. Though the case could be made for the latter, as well as the former. "Countdown" is a can't-miss, as far as my meglomaniac ass is concerned. And other body parts as well.

Boyfriend brings the snark like Nobody's Business.

Natalie Maines is my hero

Much respect. Also, very much looking forward to the Chicks new album, produced by Rick Rubin.

My friend, Jen, is not funny at all.

Was discussing the "100 Sexiest Men" list at work today, and happened to have an old issue of Q around. Rock snots take our issues to work, hear? So, I was showing my friend and co-worker, Jen, a picture of The Libs, and pointed out Carl. (She knows who Pete is. We live in Iowa, not Antarctica).

Jen then stated, "You're going to hate me." I said, like a flippin' moron, "why?" She then said that Carl resembles Steve Perry. From Journey.

After I finished rolling about laughing, I poured Chlorox into my eyes. Kidding. May I also point out that Jen's smart arse also told me of Prince William's ever-so-slightly thinning hair.

Jen= not funny. (Also kidding).

Goody! Article about Weller

Love him, love him, love him. In an almost non-purient way. Just about....

This makes my head hurt

Somebody needs to slap this guy silly.

"Granted, we must not overreact. And it would probably be an overreaction to firebomb these men's houses. But what they have done is no mistake. It is a calculated strategy."

Moron. If you don't like the idea of the movie, or the persons starring in said movie, here's an idea- freaking ignore it. Don't call the firebombing, however theoretical, of the persons involved homes an "overreaction."

Just make snarky comments via the Internets. Duh!

This is just ridiculous

Jesus, people! Criminals! Big ones! What's so difficult about this?

Further evidence

Oh my dears, I'm afraid the Brits are most certainly cooler than we Colonials. Even their Diocese Spokespersons are hipper.

That being said, Bez as a disciple? I wasn't aware of any maraca-playing disciples, but maybe that was left out in the final draft. You just don't know, do you?

Of course, I'm sitting here, wearing my bathrobe, listening to, shudder, Journey. 5 year-olds are cooler than myself at this moment.

Examples of crackheaded-ness

Okay, cannot stop giggling. I love The Killers and everything, but there is no freakin' way that Brandon Flowers is hotter than Colin Firth. For the love of Pete (Doherty, who is apparently attractive to women who are not my girl, Kate, and who ranks in at #18. Actual crackhead here, people), it's Mr. Darcy!

But back to one of my previous points. The poor confused women of New Woman magazine actually think that Pete is hotter than Prince William. Borderline Sid Vicious v. actual freaking Prince. Ladies, I have yet to see a picture of our poor Mr. Doherty where he isn't sweating like it's July in Houston.

I need to lie down now. My head hurts, though I am strangely happy that Americans aren't the only morons on this earth.

THIS! THIS!

Is what is wrong with American music.

For the love of Christ, they asked Dave Navarro what he thought. DAVE "REALITY SHOW" NAVARRO! Dave "I was actually banned from the Playboy Mansion for life" Navarro.

And to invoke the Big Guy's (Jesus's) name again, John Shanks. Ashlee Simpson's producer. God, why have you forsaken me? (And by me, I mean everyone with ears. Who isn't tone deaf)?

Okay, so they also talked to Ahmir "?uestlove" Thompson. But that doesn't cancel out the first two.

Also- Coldplay is nominated in the "Rock" category? The hell is wrong with these people? Rock, my ass. And, if Mariah Freaking Carey beats Gorillaz, everyone in the greater SE Iowa area will be able to hear my gentle weeping. And rending of garments. And nashing of teeth.

Miss you, buddy

Approximately 13 years ago, give or take, my friends, myself and our community, experienced a terrible loss. Our friend, Kelly, was killed in a car accident on the way home from his girlfriend's house.

Whenever I pass the place where Kelly passed from this world into the next, to this day, I cross my fingers in remembrance. It's just a small thing, this knowing that I still remember my friend.

It was my senior year of high school. He was only a year out of school. Great guy. Funny as hell.

Always remember dancing around his mom's place to "Who Made Who" by AC/DC. The girls, sober. The boys, not so much.

Driving on gravel roads, hitting stop signs in his dad's steel-bumpered truck.

Right after his funeral, my girlfriends and I went prom dress shopping. Why? As discussed by Helen Fielding in Bridget Jones's Diary, hysterical displacement activity.

(Though without the drinking sake -under-a-duvet action. And obviously, sans Daniel Cleaver. Or Mark Darcy). I tried on a green- sequinned dress. I didn't get it. I don't remember what the minister said in the sermon. I just remember eating at Big Muddy's. Drinking virgin strawberry daquiri's. (Very appropriate, as we were all virgins).

Trying not to think about why we were in Burlington during a school day.

When someone dies at a young age, one always wonders what the deceased might have done in their life.

The thing is, no one really knows.

It's just left up to the survivors to muddle on, thinking of what might have been, our lives altered, without that bright light, forever covered.

Miss you, buddy.

Uh, Scarlett? Go. For. It.

Girl, Richard Archer is hotter than the hammered-down hinges of hell. You're young! Tap that Brit rock star arse!

And, unlike Josh Hartnett, he either takes care of, or does not have a monobrow.

Not that there's anything wrong with 'big' eyebrows..... Don't worry Noel, I still love you. In a totally non-stalkerish way, of course.

Hysterical

Various deities are conspiring tonight to cheer me up. The following items are on TV:

- Monty Python's Flying Circus
- "There's Something About Mary"
-"National Lampoon's Animal House"

Though "Animal House" is sometimes viewed as a cautionary tale of what not to do in higher education, my friends and myself saw it as a shining example.

Our respective GPA's would reflect this.

I love my beer, Long Island & cough syrup-drinking, chain-smoking, keg-standing, hockey-playing, FAC-ing, shagging on-campus, Welch Avenue Station regular, die-hard Cyclones, Towers-residing, Led Zeppelin, Neil Young, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Billy Joel, Parliament Funkadelic, Rolling Stones, Earth, Wind & Fire-loving friends. Wouldn't trade most of them for anything.

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son." I would disagree.

Well, with the 'fat' and 'stupid' parts.

Though one could definitely live with the 'fat,' though not with the 'stupid.'

What's wrong with this picture?

Y'all, someone more capable of rational speech than myself needs to contact the nimrods at Yahoo!sports.

You may ask, "why?"

On the Iowa State University Cyclones College Basketball page, they have an article about the University of Iowa Hawkeyes basketball team, beating the Ohio State Buckeyes.

NOT THE SAME MF-ING SCHOOL, MORONS! 100 MILES AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! DIFFERENT SCHOOL COLORS! MASCOTS! CITIES!

It's not rocket science here, people. Do some freaking research.

Hee hee

I absolutely worship Charles Pierce. The man has a way with the snark, that I truly hope to hold a candle to someday. I really miss his comments on Altercation.

"The last people made such a big deal out of both Holy Mother Church and their personal weaponry wound up having terrible trouble with Saracens."

She almost made it....

Dear Gwyneth,

Congratulations on being pregnant again! You are a wonderful actress, and star in many of my favorite movies. That being said, darling, I am concerned for your safety.

If you keep making snooty comments about large segments of the population in your adopted homeland, I'm afraid you may be greeted at Heathrow with torches and pitchforks the next time you return from abroad.

Seriously. You might want to adjust your pretentious-meter, as I'm afraid it's a bit off.

Sincerely,
Cygirl

(Title is referring to the last few paragraphs of the interview)

Hi, Kingsley!

Yes, I know. Movie and book for children. Blah, blah, blah. I do not care. I love Harry Potter.

Well, more specifically, Sirius Black and Draco Malfoy, which would suprise exactly none of my friends, as they know I am a fan of the bad boy. Always have been. All Alan Rickman in "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves's" fault.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Two guesses on where I would have preferred to be on this past Saturday night, and the first one doesn't count.

Hint: not The Drake Diner in Burlington with my beloved friend, Traci, drinking overpriced, overly dry Merlot. (When I say "overly dry," I'm talking my friggin' brain shrunk because of water loss-dry. Sahara freaking desert- dry).

Why are the Brits cooler than Americans? WHY? WHY?

Paris Hilton. Not a Genius.

Boy, she really is dumb as a sack of hammers, isn't she?

Pete. Honey.

Babe, ya got to lay off the smack. It's making you look an idiot. Seriously.

And quit enabling him! British public, I'm talking to you. Seriously!

D'ya want another Sid Vicious situ on your hands, I ask of you? (Not that you handled that particular incident yourselves, but I digress).

Go State!

By all that is Holy, beat the freaking Jayhawks! For God's Sake, please!

Really?

Better than The Maltese Falcon? The Philadelphia Story? Easy Rider? The Godfathers (I & II)? Pulp Fiction? The Great Escape? Foxy Brown? Chinatown?


I am not convinced. Ah, but such is life.

Gee, I think Paul might feel strongly about this

Hee. Hee. Guess it can't be summed up any more bluntly than this.

God, that was a terrible pun. My apologies.

Eh?

Okay, I think someone at Aunty Beeb has gotten into someone from Madchester-era Manchester's stash.

Shaun, Bez- I'm looking at you!

Interesting

I have to say, I agree with the first four picks. But putting The Arctic Monkeys in at #5? Not sure I'm willing to buy into the famed Brit music mag hype that caused my beloved Stone Roses to implode.

Also Franz's debut ahead of Rubber Soul? Are you JOKING?

Oh my stars and garters. OMSAG!

Swooning. Now.

Daniel. Craig. Dirty?

Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus.

Songs O' The Week

1. Absolute Beginners- The Jam
2. Rock The Casbah- The Clash
3. All These Things (That I Have Done)- The Killers
4. Round Are Way- Oasis
5. Changing Man- Weller
6. Bizarre Love Triangle- New Order
7. Freaky Dancer- Happy Mondays
8. Spanish Harlem- Ms. Aretha Franklin
9. Move On Up- The Jam
10. One- Mary J. Blige

Bonus Track- The Stone Roses- Sally Cinnamon

Killers

Sometimes, you have moments where you feel, "Gee, if everyone in this place knew this bit of information that I have, I would be worshipped as a minor goddess, like Persephone."

Or maybe it's just me. Bit of a problem with meglomania, I have.

This weekend, in Chi-town, I was at the Gap on Michigan Avenue. Got very cute, cheap fuschia ballet slippers for 10 bucks. Probably made by toddlers, but there you are.

At said store, "All These Things That I Have Done" came on over the stereo, and all that I could think of, "Jesus, I'm good friends with a lot of people who went to high school with Dave Keuning." (Word up, Carrie's O(W) and D(S), Jimmy C, Plants and Tommy DK:)

And, I felt very smug and cool, if only for a moment. But, that's what it's all about, innit?

(The song sounded great, and there was more than one person singing along to "I've got soul, but I'm not a soldier)." I felt like I was in on a great f-ing joke, you know, when you feel smarter than everyone in the room. But, only for a moment.

This goes in the "Oh Thank You, Jesus" category

Please, let this be true. The title of the article.

And.... Kim walked up the aisle to "Mockingbird?" WTH? Isn't that a tad, I don't know, CREEPY? Well, at least it wasn't the song where he fantasizes about killing the woman. Because that would be weird. Well, weirdER.

How. Does it feel?

Sorry, couldn't resist. Ooh, must be unfaithful to Mr. Weller, and listen to New Order.

This makes me feel better

Nothing like reading an article by another obsessed fan, to make you feel better about your own fangirl status. That being said, I got "Stanley Road" this weekend. Special edition. Have listened to it roughly 20 times since Friday. Very good, that.

See kids? These are QUALITY awards.

And I'm not just saying that since I own albums by all of the Best British Band & Best International Band nominees. Okay, maybe a little. Damn, I'm good!

**Okay, I don't actually own The Arctic Monkey's album yet. This would be difficult, as it hasn't been released in the Colonies yet. But I will, darn it!

Happy Birthday, Ms. Parton

The woman is a national treasure, if for nothing else than the following:

"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes
because I know I'm not dumb...
and I also know that I'm not blonde. "
Dolly Parton

RIP, Mr. Pickett

I know there's supposedly "no rest for the wicked," but I hope the Divine Being will make an exception for Wilson. A great singer.

I Have a Sneaking Suspicion, part deaux

As mentioned before, I have a certain appreciation for rock-snobby bands. And The Fall is one of the top Anglophillic rock snob bands, endorsed by none other than John Peel himself. That being said, I simply don't get their music. But, this article is farking hysterical. They've had over 40 members, for God's Sake! Have abandoned band mates at bars!

I have a sneaking suspicion

As someone who fancies themselves as a rock snobbish-type person, there are a lot of bands that I should like. But simply do not "get." Like Radiohead. Rush. Or Captain Beefheart.

I have a certain appreciation for them, respect them as musicians, but cannot be bothered with their music. Why would any sane person think, "Hey, what would a computer sound like?"

I like my music loud, profane and shagadelic. Jebus, is that even a word? No, it isn't. I don't give a damn what they said in "Austin Powers."

That being said, I truly enjoy several artists on the above list- Fiona, Arcade Fire, Kings of Leon and M.I.A. All of which exhibit some of the aforementioned qualities, while being cool as f*&^.

I Adore Her

As much as it is possible for a person to adore another person whom they've never met, I adore Keira Knightley. She's so funny in interviews, fashion sense is fantastic, and as you can see, her musical taste- apparently spot-on.

She's got The Killers, Scissor Sisters, Jet, Morrissey (I've kind of gotten into The Smiths lately. F-ing fantastic. Johnny Marr is a GOD. But I digress), The Dandy Warhols, OutKast, Primal Scream, and

OH SWEET JESUS, The Jam, Oasis, and The Stone Freaking Roses. My own personal Holy Trinity.

I kind of feel like the googly-eyed actress that played Hugh Grant's sister in "Notting Hill." She met Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) and said that she felt like they were meant to be friends.

Though ever-so less scarily. Obviously, I wouldn't follow her into the toilet. Because that would be weird. And would result in litigation. Can't afford that now, can I?

Golden Globes

I adore awards shows. All of them. Except the People's Choice Awards. I don't give a damn what the people think. Most of them like complete crap. Like the Pussycat Dolls. Or the Simpson sisters. Or the various crimes against humanity that have been inflicted upon us by the Carter (Nick, Aaron) family.

Best dressed females tonight- definitely my girls, Scarlett and Keira. Though the Queen looked smashing. And Michelle Williams and Anne Hathaway were as cute as buttons.

Males- The Clooney. Terrance Howard looked great. So did Jesse L. Martin. And Jonathan Rhys- Meyers. But for his gold outfit when he played Elvis. Duuuuuuurrrrrrrrrr. Hot Irishness.

Added note- I cannot see Michael Bolton- Nicolette "neighborhood skank from Desperate Housewives" Sheridan's date- without thinking of the following scene from "Office Space:"

(For those of you unlucky enough to not have enjoyed "Office Space" yet, there is a character named "Michael Bolton" in the movie. And why are you still reading this? Go. Watch. The. Funny).


Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about 12 years old and that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys

"No-talent ass clown" is definitely on my all-time favorite insults list.

From http://www.imdb.com

The cutest things ever.

In this dark and scary world, it's nice to sometimes stop, and look at the FREAKING ADORABLE baby panda cubs.

Bit Apprehensive

The OutKast movie? Could be brilliant, or, uh, otherwise.... But look at it this way, there's no friggin' way it could be worse than the lone Vanilla Ice movie.

Though the facts that the soundtrack isn't complete yet, and it comes out on Valentine's Day, are a bit worrisome.

Reserving judgement.

Chuck Klosterman rules

Sadly, despite being from Iowa, I have never "walked beans." Or detasseled corn, for that matter. Or fed livestock. Though I have helped to give a sheep a bath (at the county fair, before the sheep judging).